A Sudden Awakening
by AnneM.Oliver
Summary: He saw her sitting in the chair across from him. The last time he saw her,she was lying on the ground, and he thought she was dead. He didn't save her that night for her, he did it for himself. So, she didn't owe him anything. She's still just a mudblood
1. Choices Made

All Character belong to JKR

**A Sudden Awakening**

By

Anne M.

**1 - Choices Made**

He walked down the long hallway of the prison that had been his home for the last five months. He was to find out his fate today. His defense attorney told him not to expect a good outcome. Nice to know the bloody bint was so confident.

He was taken to a room he had visited before. It was the same room that he had met his attorney in each time she had visited. He was interrogated by the Aurors in the same room. It was the same room Harry Potter and Remus Lupin met him in just last week, to tell him that they were working hard to get him out.

As they were getting closer to the room, Draco began to slow down. Not because he was dreading the moment he would arrive there, but mainly to piss off the guard that was escorting him. This particular tosser was especially brutal to Draco, so anything Draco could do to mess with the man's simple mind; he was going to do.

He was there because of his involvement in Dumbledore's murder, and because he let Death Eaters into his school during his 6th year there. That was the last time he set foot in Hogwarts. He went on the run shortly after. During the war he played both sides of the fence. He never really committed to either side. He fed a lot of information to the Order of the Phoenix, but never out of the goodness of his heart. He did it only for self-serving reasons. He fed some information to the Death Eaters as well. He had to keep up the act that he was still faithful, after all.

One piece of information he gave the Death Eaters, he would always regret. He gave up the location of a safe house that the Order used for their injured. He had to give them something. He honestly did not know anyone would be there, so he thought it would be all right to give up the location.

He was wrong.

The Death Eaters had been watching the location for several days, when they almost gave up on the spot. However, they got lucky. Hermione "Mudblood" Granger, the brains behind the Golden Trio, was seen entering the house along with several other Order members. The Dark Lord was told this important information immediately, and he called Draco to him, to let him know that his service to the dark side was finally paying off.

Bloody Hell. Draco could not just let all the Death Eaters go in and kill Granger. Could he? He could have, but he thought since he was playing both sides, it would not hurt to tell the Order that someone (never mentioning that it was he) gave up their location to the Death Eaters.

Therefore, a particular nasty battle occurred at the location. Most of the Aurors and other Order members arrived just after the Death Eaters did. Draco decided to tag along. If the Order saw him, they would think he was with them, and visa versa with the Death Eaters. Why he decided to go, he never really knew.

When he got there, he made the biggest mistake of his life. That was why he was in this predicament in the first place.

He continued to walk slowly down the corridor, and at one point even stopped to rest on the wall. That was when the nasty guard hit Draco across the top of his head with his club, and laughed as Draco fell to the ground. "Hurry up maggot. They're waiting for you," the arse-hole said. Draco stood up, but he continued walking slowly, mostly because blood was dripping in his eyes, and he now had a hell of a headache.

He figured he had three choices. Well, not really choices, as he didn't get to decide. Nevertheless, three choices would be made for him: life in prison, the death sentence, or freedom. Frankly, he didn't care which one they chose for him. He just wanted it to be all over and done.

When they finally reached the door, the guard pushed him on through. He saw his defense lawyer (the stupid bitch), a witch in a long robe that must have been the judge from the Wizengamot, the prosecuting attorney, one man he didn't recognize, and three people he did. He could understand Potter and Lupin being there, but what in the hell was she doing there?

The last time he saw her was that night at the safe house. He thought she was already dead when he saw her. She was lying in the mud (how appropriate) and blood was everywhere. He ran toward her, mind you only to make sure she was dead, and saw a Death Eater approach her first. The Death Eater took out his wand and sent a Cruciatus Curse toward her. Seriously, that was a bit of overkill if she was already dead.

But she was not. He heard her scream. A scream, like he had never heard in all his days, and if he never heard again he would die a happy man. He ran toward them, who knew why, and turned to face the Death Eater that was torturing her. Draco would never forget what he saw that night. Never. He saw his own father torturing Granger, and what's more, his father saw Draco, and said, "Finally, we get to kill the little Mudblood, Draco. She's almost dead now, but if you would like, I will let you get in the final blow." His father laughed and lowered his wand.

Draco raised his, saw his father smile, and then Draco said, "Avada Kedavra."

Lucius Malfoy fell dead on the spot. Draco killed his own father, and just so a Mudblood could live.

He did not do it for her. Hell, she could die right now, and he would not care. Sure, he had a pang of guilt when he saw her lying there, and when he saw her withering in pain, his heart fluttered, just a tiny bit. That did not mean anything. He did not kill his father to save her. He did not. Sure, all that blood made him wish he had not given up the location. But still, he could care less if the Mudblood lived or died. Draco Malfoy killed his own father for very selfish reasons, just as he did everything else in his life. His father was a brutal husband, a loathsome father, and an undeniable bastard. Draco's world was better with him gone, end of story.

He sat down opposite Potter. She was sitting next to him. Lupin and the other wizard were standing. His stupid lawyer was on his right; asking him why he was bleeding; and the judge was on his left, at the end of the table, with the prosecutor at the other end. The guard pushed him the rest of the way into his seat, and said, "Here's the prisoner". 'Well, obviously', thought Draco.

Potter and Lupin both said hello to him. She did not even look up. She had her hands in her lap, and was looking at them. Potter reached under the table and took hold of one of her hands. How sweet. Draco spoke first, "Lovely day we're having, isn't it? It's so nice of all of you to come to tea."

The guard hit Draco again, on the shoulder. The judge said, "That's not necessary."

The judge started to tell Draco why they were all there. The prosecutor starting talking about all the bad things Mr. Malfoy was supposed to have done. (Actually, he had done most of them.) The defense attorney then started speaking about all the good Mr. Malfoy had done (which most of these were true as well, very ironic, no?) The man Draco didn't know starting talking about how they would rehabilitate him if he were set free. Next, Potter and Lupin gave testimony.

Everyone was talking as if he wasn't even in the room, but he didn't care. Let them talk. He didn't have a say in any of this anyway. When the judge asked him if he had anything to say, he just looked at her and said one word.

"No."

The whole time all of this was going on, she had not look at him once. She looked at Potter, Lupin, the judge, even the bloody guard, not at him. The Ministry judge asked if there was any more testimony. He saw Potter lean down and whisper in her ear again. She just shook her head no, to whatever he had to say. He whispered again, and this time she shook her head yes. What the hell, could the girl not talk anymore? Maybe all those years of talking too much finally caught up with her.

Potter told the judge to be sure to read Miss Granger's affidavit. She assured Wonder boy that she had already read it, and would consider it. She said she would excuse herself for a moment, and then come back in with her decision. Both lawyers walked out as well. Lupin told Potter he would see him in a moment. He leaned down and kissed Granger on the cheek.

"No kiss for me, Wolfie?" Malfoy jived.

"Not today Draco, but I might have a small bite for you next full moon," Lupin responded. That made Granger smile. Draco frowned at her, and she looked again at her hands on her lap. Harry told Hermione he would be right back, he was going to go see where Lupin went.

He stood and said to Draco, "Just because I testified for you, doesn't mean I like you, Malfoy, remember that. Also, don't even think about talking to Hermione while I'm gone." He looked at the guard and said, "Don't let him talk to her." The stupid guard smiled, happy to do whatever the Boy who Lived asked, and said 'all right'.

Potter bent down and kissed her bloody cheek. Why did everyone have to kiss her? "I take it since Wolfman didn't kiss me goodbye, then you won't either, huh Scarhead?" Draco asked.

"I would rather kiss a Dementor, Malfoy," Harry deadpanned.

"You're probably just saving all your kisses for you boyfriend, Weasley," Draco drawled. Potter just gave him one last dirty look, and walked out.

The other man left as well, so now it was just Malfoy, Granger and the guard.

Draco was burning holes into Hermione skull with his stare. He would not look away, and she would not look up. He could tell he was getting to her, because her face had turned red, and she had started to wring her hands. Draco thought, 'Maybe I could make her cry. That would be fun'. "So, Mudblood, how the hell have you been?" He acted as if they were old friends.

She did not even look up. Maybe she did lose her voice. Well, now's the time to get it back, he thought, because Draco decided to get mean. "Death Eater got your tongue, Muddy?" At this, the guard hit Draco on the head again and told him to shut up.

Draco put his hand on his wounded head, and gave the man a very dirty look indeed. His head was still bleeding from the last crack to his skull, and now he was bleeding more. As he looked at the blood on his hand, he held it directly under her nose, so that she was forced to look up, and said, "See, my blood is red, Granger, unlike your muddy brown blood." She looked at him, not in anger, but with a pleading look, a 'please shut up before you get hit again' look.

He wiped his hand on his pants and looked up at the guard. "See, Miss Granger and I are old friends. We go back a long way, don't we, Granger? Yes, we were jolly good friends in school. Those were the days. Remember the year you were petrified? Too bad, you weren't killed. Or how about in Fifth year when you were cursed at that little fight at the Ministry. Yes, good times, good times."

"I said shut up!" the guard yelled again.

Completely ignoring the man, and with Hermione's full attention, for she was now looking directly at him and not at her hands, he continued, "Of course, we weren't as good of friends as you, Potty and the Weasel. You were their personal little Mudblood whore, weren't you? Well, my father always said, Mudbloods are only good for one thing. Are you good at that one thing, Granger? I am talking about sex, in case you weren't aware." He said this last part, while leaning toward her.

The guard slammed his fist on the table, and said, "One more word and I will shut you up!"

Hermione had started to shake. Her eyes had turned red. Oh goody, she's finally going to cry. As a single tear ran down her check, Malfoy did something that was much unexpected by everyone in the room. He brought his blood soaked hand up to her face and wiped away the tear. He didn't mean to do that, like he didn't mean to save her. To cover up for his insane action, Draco said, "Funny, I always thought a Mudblood's tears would be brown."

Before anyone knew what was happening, the guard clubbed Draco over his shoulder and knocked him out of his chair. He then kicked him in the face, and the ribs, and as Draco winced in pain, he saw Hermione stand from her chair and yell, "Stop it, you're hurting him!"

Draco laid on the ground in his own blood, and in a great deal of pain. The guard looked down at Draco, and Draco said, "I think she's talking to you, arse-hole". Just then, Potter re-entered the room and saw Hermione crying, Draco in a pool of his own blood on the floor, and a very angry guard standing over them.

Harry pulled out his wand and asked, "What the hell is going on?" He told the guard to go get a Healer. He tried to offer Draco his hand, but Draco hit it away. Harry sat Draco's chair back up, and Draco managed to get up and sat back down. Harry asked Hermione is she was all right, and she told him that the guard started to beat Draco without provocation. Why was she lying for him? Potter told Draco, "Stay here, I'll make sure help is coming." He then left the room.

How quaint, now it was just the two of them.


	2. What Now?

2 - **What Now?**

Draco probably had internal injuries. He had spit up some blood. He had trouble breathing, so he probably had a collapsed lung. He certainly had some broken ribs, and probably a concussion from being hit on the head so many times. However, that did not deter him from his task.

"So it was nice going down memory lane, aye Granger," he asked as he spat out some more blood, right on the floor.

She looked at him with a look of disgust, mixed with pity. He didn't need her pity. Not by a long shot. However, he craved her disgust.

He started to say something else, undoubtedly something very witty, when she decided to speak. "Your inability to bother me must be bothering you quite a bit, Malfoy."

"I think not, Granger. I think I was bothering you quite a bit. Of course, the truth always hurts, doesn't it? You know, if I bother you that much, you could always leave the room. No one is forcing you to stay," he recoiled.

"You're right, Malfoy. I think I will go, and thank you," she said, standing to leave.

"Why the hell are you thanking me, Mudblood?" he spat.

"Thank you for saving my life last year," she said softly. "I've wanted to tell you that for a long time. I don't care if you want to hear it or not, but I wanted to say it." As she started to leave, he noticed that she was limping. Not the kind of limp like, oh I stubbed my toe. The kind of limp that says, 'I must say, I am in a bit of pain'. She noticed that he was watching her limp. That's why she didn't leave earlier. She didn't want him to see that she was permanently injured.

As she was now standing behind him, she saw the blood starting to dry in his hair. She just stood and stared for a moment, when he turned around in his seat and said, "Was there something else I could do for you, Gimpy?"

She took a hold of the back of his chair, and leaned down toward his upturned face and said, "You know I have your father to thank for these injuries, don't you, Malfoy?"

To which he answered, "Yes, yes, too bad he only maimed you. If I had gotten there just a few minutes later, I am sure he would have killed you, and it would have saved the world from one more, know-it-all, Mudblood." He stood from his chair, and that was saying a lot, since he was in a great deal of pain. He looked into her big brown eyes and said, "I wish he had killed you, you know that don't you. If he had just killed you before I got there, then I wouldn't have had to kill him."

Then she did something that was just as unexpected as when he wiped away her tear earlier. She reached up and swiped at some of the blood that had not yet dried on his face and said, "Funny, Malfoy, our blood is exactly the same colour. Looks like your dad died in vain." He jumped at her so quickly that he knocked into his chair and it toppled over again. He slammed her into the door, which caused it to close. He had his full weight on her, which was keeping the door closed.

Someone was yelling outside the door, but Malfoy couldn't hear them. All he could hear was a whooshing sound in his ears that sounded like waves crashing on a shore. He leaned so close to her, that she could smell the blood on him. He could smell her as well, and what he smelled was fear. With his face only inches from hers he said, "Don't you ever talk about my father to me, Mudblood. You know nothing about my father, and I don't need you to give any kind of testimony to get me out of this place. I didn't save your life, Mudblood. I wouldn't save your life if my own life depended on it. Don't go thinking you're paying me back, by doing something noble. You owe me, Granger, but not because I saved your life. You owe me because you're a piece of shite Mudblood that's not even fit to crawl on the ground in which I walk."

"You say what you want, and I'll say what I know to be true. I don't care why you did what you did, but you saved my life," she cried.

"Yeah, well, if I had a wand now, I would kill you myself," he hissed at her.

Malfoy could hear Harry outside the door yelling, "Don't you hurt her, Malfoy!"

Another tear ran down Hermione's face, and Draco wiped it off again. "Crying because you're scared, Granger?" he asked.

"No, I'm crying because you are," she answered back. Then she yelled, "It's all right, Harry, he's not hurting me. I shut the door to talk to him privately." She then said to Malfoy, "If it will make you sleep better at night, you can tell yourself that you hate me and wish me dead. You can tell yourself that you didn't save me. I don't care. That's the thing, Malfoy; as much as you don't care, I don't care even more. I know what you did for me. I don't care for what reasons. I just know what's true. You saved my life, and now we're even, because with my testimony, I saved yours."

Malfoy stepped away from her, and in doing so, Harry was finally able to burst in the door. "Are you okay, Hermione?" Harry asked. Draco sat back down as the Healer and the guard came in.

"I'm fine, Harry. I'm going to go home. Let me know how this all turns out." She hugged him goodbye, and looked back at Draco as the Healer was examining him.

As she was almost out of the door, Draco yelled out to her, "Don't think what you did here today makes us even, Mudblood. We aren't even by a long shot."

Hermione looked back at him and said, "You're right. Nevertheless, I think instead of me still owing you, you still owe me, Malfoy. Maybe someday I'll tell you why." She turned and walked out of the room. Draco didn't know what she meant by that. He just knew that he didn't give a damn.


	3. The Storm before the Calm

3 - **The Storm before the Calm**

Draco couldn't believe it. He was going free. He was told he could leave immediately. The wizard that Draco didn't recognize came back into the room and told Draco that his name was Alex Kruger, and he was his probation officer. He told Draco that he would meet him on Tuesday to go over all the rules or his release.

"I'm sorry to say this, Mr. Malfoy, but until we find you a permanent residence, you'll probably have to stay here. The Ministry approved halfway houses are all currently full," Mr. Kruger, told him.

"No! I'm free!" Draco yelled.

Harry pulled the man Kruger aside and talked to him in hushed tones. Draco put his head on the table. He was so tired and in a lot of pain. He was also confused. What was he supposed to do now?

Finally, the probation officer spoke again. "Mr. Malfoy, Mr. Potter said that he would assume responsibility for you for the time being, so you can go home with him. You'll need to sign some papers for your release. Be aware that we cannot give you back your wand yet. It hasn't been decided how long your probation will be." Malfoy looked up from the table as the man spoke, then looked at Potter, and then rested his head back on the table.

"How about it, Malfoy?" Harry asked.

"Why, Potter?" Draco asked back, with his head still down.

"Let's just say that I repay my debts," Harry stated.

"What debt do you owe me?" Draco asked dumbfounded, finally looking up.

"You saved my best friend's life," Harry said matter of fact.

"Then she owes me, you don't," Draco complained.

"Listen, I'm leaving now. If you're coming, then we need to go down to Reception, where you can sign your release papers. If you're not coming, have a nice life in this hellhole, Malfoy." Harry left the room after his little speech. Draco waited about two seconds and then got up and followed.

Harry insisted that Draco side along apparate to his home. He told Malfoy he didn't trust him enough to let him know where it was located. They arrived at the Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix, and Harry said, "Home sweet home."

"Where is this place?" Draco pondered.

"12 Grimmauld Place. It's the Headquarters for the Order, and it was given to me when my godfather died," Harry stated plainly.

"You mean Sirius Black? My mother's cousin?" Draco turned to look at Harry.

"Yes," Harry said.

Harry started walking up a back staircase and Draco assumed he was to follow. Harry said, "Lupin lives here fulltime as well. In fact, I have to go to France for a week or so, but Remus will be here. You will have full range of the house. It has wards put up, so you'll not be able to leave. Any room we don't want you in, you won't be able to get in, believe me. There are a lot of people who come and go around here, so get used to seeing a lot of people." When Harry was done explaining all of this, he opened a door to a small bedroom, which was clean, but sparse. "This is your room. The bathroom is two doors down, on the right. The kitchen is in the basement. Your old house elf Dobby lives here. He'll get you anything you need. Get some rest. I'll see you in a week or so."

Draco walked into the room, put his bag down on the only chair, and sat down on the bed. Harry turned back toward Malfoy, and said, "One last thing, Hermione has been living here since the war ended. She's working with Lupin on a project. You're not to harass her, or be mean to her in anyway. On this, I will not falter. If you bother her, I'll make you leave," and with that Harry shut the door.

Draco fell back on the bed and promptly went to sleep. When he finally woke up, he was disoriented. It was dark and he thought for a minute he was still in his cell. When he finally realized where he was, he got up and felt around for the doorknob. When it was at last located, he went to the bathroom, and then decided to look around.

He walked all over the house. He didn't see Lupin. He thought he heard Hermione. There was one room, at the end of the hall, whose door was locked, and he couldn't enter. He figured it was the Mudblood's room, because he heard Muggle music coming from the room.

He walked to the kitchen in the basement, and sat by the warm fire. He didn't even know what time it was, but he knew he was hungry. He got up to look in the cupboards, when Dobby appeared. "Would Master Malfoy like Dobby to fix his dinner?" the small elf asked. Malfoy just nodded his head in the affirmative, and sat down at the table.

Before his dinner was served, he heard someone on the stairs. It sounded like someone was having great difficulties just walking down the stairs. Then he remembered…Granger. She was limping before. Before he could avert his gaze from the stairs, he saw her. She was taking a step at a time, leaning heavily on the banister. As she rounded the corner to enter the kitchen, she was embarrassed to see that Malfoy was watching her. He was embarrassed as well, and looked away.

"Would Miss Granger like something to eat? Dobby will fix her something as well," Dobby asked as he set a plate in front of Draco.

"That would be nice, Dobby. I'll take it up in my room, if you don't mind." She turned to walk back upstairs.

'Stupid, bloody Mudblood,' Draco thought. "For Merlin's sake, Granger, it took you a hundred years to walk all the way down here; you might as well stay now," Draco told her.

"I don't want to fight, Malfoy," she said honestly.

"Don't be a bloody fool, and sit down and eat. I won't even talk to you, all right?" Draco told her as he continued to eat.

They sat and ate in silence. When they were both about done, Remus joined them. Dobby made him a plate as well. Draco said to Remus, "Would you mind showing me where the library is, Lupin? I mean, after you eat of course. I would like to find a book to read."

"Hermione can show you now, Malfoy. She always goes in there to work for a few hours after dinner."

Hermione stood and said, "Come on, Malfoy."

She told him to go up the stairs first, and meet her in the foyer. Why didn't she just apparate to the foyer, he wondered, as he could hear her struggling to walk up the stairs. When she finally met him in the foyer, she started walking down a hallway to the right, and he followed. "Here's the library. I would appreciate that you leave me in peace after you find your book, and read in another room, Malfoy," she said as she sat at a large desk and started going through pieces of parchments.

He looked around at the books. This library was nowhere as nice or big as the one at the Manor, but it wasn't bad. He took his time looking at the books. He could tell it pissed Granger off that he was taking so long, so of course, this just made him take even more time.

He found himself standing directly behind the desk, and he saw her feverishly writing on a piece of parchment, and then looking up something in a book. "So, what is this project you and Lupin are working on, Granger? Does it have to do with the inferiority of Mudbloods verses Werewolves?" he mused.

She looked up from her writing, and turned to look at him. "If you must know…" she began.

"Yes, I must know," he interjected, sarcastically.

"Well, we're working on an accurate, historical account, of the second war, beginning with Voldemort giving Harry his scar, to the final battle," she answered.

"So, it's Scarhead's biography?" he laughed.

"No, you arsehole," she said, "I told you, it's an accurate and historical…" before she could repeat herself from earlier, he put his hand on her mouth and finished her sentence for her.

"I know, of the second war, beginning with Scarhead's scar and ending at the end. How poetic," he waned, his hand still on her mouth.

She moved from his grasp, and actually wiped her mouth, as if he dirtied her with his touch! "So, Muddy, in this accurate and historical account, are you going to get into specifics. I mean, people, places, etc." He sat down on top of the desk and looked down at her, and then tried to look at the parchment in which she was working. She didn't move from the desk, but took a key from a chain around her neck, unlocked the bottom right hand drawer of the desk, and put all the parchments she had out in the drawer, and then locked it back up, and put the key and chain back on and placed it under her shirt.

She stood, to distance herself from Malfoy, and she said, "If you want to know outright if you will be mentioned in the book, just ask me."

He actually wasn't even thinking of that. Why would he be in the book? He asked this aloud, "Why would I be in the bloody book?"

"Well, we aren't glossing over anything, Malfoy. We're going to mention all we know about Tom Riddle, how he became Lord Voldemort, about this Death Eaters, and well, I mean, Dumbledore's death had a big impact on the outcome of the war. It was quite pivotal, in fact, and you had a hand in that, so I'm sorry, but yes, you may be mentioned in the book." She was backing away from him as she said this. The best she could with a bum leg.

He got up from the desk so quickly it even scared him. He put one hand on the back of her neck and the other on her shoulder, shook her hard, and said, "You will not mention me in your book, Granger!"

Instead of scaring her, she became angry. She pushed at his arms, and put herself behind a chair, so they were now separated slightly. "Listen, Malfoy, I'm sorry, but someone is bound to write this book and it's better that it's done by the people who lived it. We will be writing about it all, the battles, the casualties, the Death Eaters. Everything. It won't be some sensational gossip story. It will only contain facts and the truth."

He pushed the chair aside, and now had her up against one of the shelves. He took her by her hair, and wrenched her neck to the side as she cried out. "I will only say this one more time, Mudblood. You will not put me in your book. You will not put my father in your book. If you do, you will regret the day that I didn't let my father kill you."

She had started to cry, and for some unknown reason that shocked him, so he released her hair and she fell to the ground. Her left leg was at a strange angle underneath her, completely straight. He stood over her, and put one foot on each side of her waist as she lay there, staring up. She cried out, "It's already written, Malfoy. Lupin's editing it now. I won't undo it. You don't scare me."

He walked away from her for a minute, and he spat, "Where's the manuscript?" She looked toward the desk, and in that one moment, he realized it was in the drawer. He walked back over to her, and picked her up off the floor; just picked her right up as if she was a rag doll. She cried out again. He reached for the key that was around her neck, and she tried to stop him. She screamed.

At that moment, Lupin came rushing into the room, with his wand drawn. "What the hell's going on here? Let her go, Malfoy!"

Malfoy looked back at Lupin for a quick moment, and then looked at Granger, and as he released her from his grip, he raised his eyebrows and said, "This isn't over Muddy."

Lupin told Hermione to come to him. She did, and he asked her if she was hurt. Hermione told Lupin that Draco was upset about their book, and that he didn't want to be included. Remus told Hermione to go upstairs, get a bath, and get some sleep.

As soon as the girl left, Lupin approached Draco. He didn't change expressions once; as he said very slowly and very deliberately, "Malfoy, I believe Harry already warned you about terrorizing Hermione. I would have hoped that you would have heeded his warning. You will not get another. If I find out that you treat her this way again, then I will kill you myself. As far as the book goes, your involvement in the war was what it was, whether or not you like that, I don't care. Therefore, you will be included, as will your father, and that's all I have to say about that. Now go upstairs to your room."

"Yes, Mother," Malfoy mumbled. Lupin pointed toward the door with his wand, and Malfoy walked out of the library and toward the stairs. He turned around, looked at Lupin, and said, "Know one thing wolf, just like I told the Mudblood, this isn't over, not by along shot."

Draco was walking past the bathroom and he heard the shower. Granger. Stupid bloody Mudblood. If she was in there showering, perhaps she left the key to the desk with her clothes in the bathroom. He tried the door, but of course, it was locked. He would wait outside the door, and when she came out, he would get that damn key from her. Why did she use a key to lock the drawer anyway? Why not use magic to lock it? Stupid Mudblood.

After ten minutes, he heard the shower stop. The stupid girl certainly took long showers. He leaned against the wall, assured that she would be coming out any moment, but still, no Mudblood. She must be taking a long time brushing her hair, he thought with a smile. After a moment longer, he heard a loud thump and then he heard the Mublood cry out. The noise made him stand up right, and he put his ear to the door. He could hear her cursing under her breath. He then heard her crying. He decided to bang on the door and see what happened.

"Mudblood, what the hell's going on in there?" he yelled as he banged on the door.

"Is that you, Malfoy?" she asked.

"No, it's the damn Tooth fairy. Of course, it's me. What's going on in there, I have to use the loo," he lied. He didn't really have to go.

"Go to the other bathroom," she stated, obviously. He didn't know there was another bathroom.

Now what should he say? "Tell me what that loud noise was," he decided to demand.

"Please, go get Lupin for me," she pleaded.

"I don't know where he is. Just tell me what happened." Now he was actually curious.

There was an extended moment of silence, and then she spoke with a very small voice, "I fell and I can't get up."

He actually started laughing. Yes, he laughed right out loud. That was great, bloody brilliant. He wished he could see her. He said "Well, why can't you get up, Granger?"

"Because of my bad leg," she answered.

"Use your wand," he said. He felt like he was talking to a two year old.

"I don't have my wand with me," she answered.

"I'll come in and help you," he heard himself say. Why would he say that? He didn't really want to help her, but maybe he could get that key.

"I don't want you to come in here. I only have a towel on, and my clothes are on the counter. Also, the door's locked, and since you can't use magic, you'll need to get Lupin anyway, please," she begged earnestly.

"Listen, you stupid Mudblood, it's me or nothing. You can lay there all night for all I care. Can't you crawl over to the door and unlock it?" he suddenly thought.

"I can't, the door's lock is up too high. I can't reach it without standing, and I can't stand. Please, get Lupin," she yelled.

"No!" he yelled back, and then he went down the hall to his room, and plopped himself on his bed. Stupid bloody Mudblood! He jumped back off his bed and went back to the door of the bathroom, and banged on it with his fist and said, "Stupid bloody Mudblood!"

"Get Lupin!" she demanded.

"Get bent!" he yelled back.

He could hear her starting to cry again, and she said, "Please, Malfoy, I think I really hurt myself. Please, please go get Lupin."

If he went to get Lupin, that would mean he wouldn't be able to try to get the key. Finally, the decision was made for him when Lupin came walking past, saw Draco up against the bathroom door, and he said, "Draco, there's another bathroom down the other hallway, if you need to go."

"I don't need to go, Granger fell," Draco explained.

Lupin walked up to the door and said, "Hermione, it's me, Remus, are you hurt?"

"Yes, Remus, my bad leg went out from underneath me, and I fell and I can't seem to get back up, because I don't have on my leg brace. The door's locked as well," she said through the door.

Remus used his wand to unlock the door and stepped into the small bathroom. Draco peeked in, merely looking for the key, he told himself, and he saw her lying on the floor, with her left leg in a funny angle underneath her, and a leg brace on the floor beside her. He saw a long pale scar up the entire length of her leg. She was indeed in only a towel. Lupin asked Draco if he would get her clothes and the brace, and he would carry her to her room. Perfect, he would be able to get the key.

The older man bent to pick her up, and he almost stumbled with her before he even stood. Draco sighed and said, "Let me carry her, and you get her things." Stupid bloody Mudblood, ruining his chance to get the key. That was what he told himself, anyway.

He bent down to pick her up, and she clutched the towel closer around her. Crazy old werewolf. This girl didn't weigh a thing. "Where's your room?" he asked her, pretending he didn't know. She pointed down the hall. As he was carrying her, with one arm around the top part of her body, and the other arm around her bare legs, he was suddenly feeling very hot. Moreover, what was that smell? It smelled like raspberries - it must be her soap. Who used fruity soap? However, it did smell nice.

He placed her on the bed and moved to stand in the doorway. He let Lupin pass him to enter the room. Lupin bent down to help Hermione with her metal leg brace. He was suddenly aware of the fact that she was probably, without a doubt, naked under that towel. He turned and left.

It was more the sight of the leg brace that bothered him, than her naked form. Why couldn't they heal her leg at St. Mungos? What was the point of being magical, if you had to go around with a stupid metal brace on your leg? He went to the bathroom, took a cold shower, (He told himself he needed the cold shower because he was hot), and went to bed. He would figure out another way to get that damn key. Stupid bloody Mudblood.


	4. Something Goes Bump in the Night

4 - **Something Goes Bump in the Night**

The first week went by quickly. He had his first appointment with the stupid probation officer. They still didn't have a placement for him, and it seemed no one wanted to hire him, so he didn't have a job yet, either. It was not as if he needed a job for money. Even though the Ministry seized most of the Malfoy's money, the way property was handed down in magical families prohibited them from taking the Manor. Also, if the Ministry only knew about all the hidden assets and money that Draco had, well, let's just say they would be shocked.

Potter came back for a few days, to only leave again shortly after. This time, Lupin had to leave as well. It seemed that with every new moon, he would hide away in some cottage somewhere, until his transformation passed. Even with the Wolfsbane potion, it wasn't a pleasant experience. Harry was afraid to leave Draco and Hermione alone, but Lupin assured Harry that Draco had been cordial, if not somewhat aloof, and Hermione should decide if she felt safe with him. Draco heard them all discussing this one evening, and thought what a fool Potter was. She would have her wand and she could hex him if she really wanted.

That first night Harry and Lupin were gone, Draco found himself wandering around the big house by himself. He went down to the desk and tried to break into the drawer, but still could not get it open.

He decided to go on to bed, and he heard whimpering coming from her room. He had discovered that she cried out in her sleep a lot. Almost every night since he had arrived and tonight was no exception. Potter's room was directly across the hall from hers, and when Potter was home he would always go to her like a nursemaid to a crying baby, and soothe her until she went back to sleep. He didn't care if she cried out. He didn't care if she was in pain. Everyone had some sort of pain.

He found himself in front of her room. How did he get there? The door was unlocked. That surprised him. Surely, she locked her door with magic at night. He opened the door and stepped through. He walked in and saw her tossing and turning, and crying in her sleep. She had a modest nightgown on, and she had kicked off all her covers. He walked closer to her, looked down, and saw the moonlight dancing through the window, and the light mingled with the shadows across her face and body. He thought she might actually be pretty if she wasn't a worthless Mudblood. However, she was a Mudblood, dirty and beneath him. He decided right then that he really didn't hate her. He actually felt nothing toward her. He couldn't waste a perfectly good emotion like hate on her.

She certainly was a little thing, he thought. Her long brown curls cradled her head on her pillow like a halo. He continued to stare at her and let his eyes travel down the length of her body. She had nice breasts and a flat stomach, as well as nice legs. Even the leg that was supposedly hurt looked nice to him.

She was still moving about. All of the sudden he saw something, and he couldn't believe his luck. There, on a chain, hanging off her neck, was that damn key. He approached her slowly, reached out...and damn...she moved from her back to her side. Now the key was hidden between her body and the bed. He stood there and waited; she soon shifted again, and was back on her back. It would be so easy to reach out and get it, he thought. He reached down for the key, and as his fingertips touched the swell of her breasts, he took a sharp breath in, and at that moment, she opened her eyes.

To say that she was shocked to see him standing over her in her room would be an understatement. She sat upright from her supine position, in that split second seemed to realize why he was there, and her right hand immediately went around the key on the chain.

Without uttering a single word, he jumped on her bed and pressed into her, pushing her to lie back down on the bed. With her under his weight, she couldn't move. He reached his left hand to her right wrist, and then with his right hand, he tried to pry open her fingers.

His large hands were over her small one, the one that clutched the key. As they both struggled without words, he continued to press his entire body into hers. The key finally broke from the chain, but it was still in her hand. He moved to straddle her body now, and she was kicking underneath him. With his right hand, now holding her shoulders down, he used his left hand and bent her right hand back as far as he could. He would break her hand off if necessary.

He finally spoke. "Give me the key, Mudblood!" He now had both her wrists hostage in his large hands, and while still holding her wrists, he changed his body on top of her again, so that he was once more lying down with his whole weight on her body. His one knee was between her legs, and he put the hand with the key behind her back, so that the weight from both of their bodies was on the offensive hand. Again, he yelled, "I want that fucking key!"

Somehow, she managed to wiggle out from under him, and was now lying with her back toward his front, and he still had her arm wrenched up high behind her back. To his surprise, he let go for a moment. He didn't mean to, but in that moment she tried to get off the bed, but he was faster. He stood up and physically pulled her up off the bed. He put both her arms behind her, and he tightened his hold so much that she was flat against his standing form. Her leg without the brace could not support her weight, so he was totally holding her upright. "Give me the key or so help me I'll break both your arms."

She was now crying hard, but she had yet to utter a single word. He was done playing games. He let go of her again, and she tried to move from his grasp, but her leg gave out on her and she fell to the floor. He picked her up by the waist and she was kicking and crying. He threw her back on the bed and again straddled her body. He had her arms above her head, and for a moment, they both were still, because both were too exhausted to move from that position. They both were breathing heavily, from exhaustion and adrenalin. Finally, she spoke, but all she said was, "Please."

He was getting disgusted with her. He rolled off her again, and as she tried, once more, to get off the bed, she fell as before. She started crawling toward the door, crying, "Please, please." He looked down at that pathetic little Mudblood and decided that even if he had to kill her, he would get the key.

As she almost reached the door, he kicked it shut. He would scare her into giving him the key. That way, he wouldn't have to kill her, he decided.

"If you value your life, you'll stop this nonsense and give me the key!" he snarled to her. "If I have to beat you to get it, I will. If I have to rape you to get it, I will, and if I have to kill you to get it, I will. I promise you that." He was so angry that all he saw was red. If he could have articulated at that moment how he really felt, he would have realized that in fact her felt bad for terrorizing her, and for scaring her. He probably wouldn't even really kill her, but she didn't have to know that. He bent down, and picked her up again. He held her with her back toward him and again threw her on the bed, as hard as he could. He stood over her and she rolled into the fetal position, holding the key in both hands, as they rested against her chest.

She was rocking back and forth, still crying, and again, all she said was, "Please."

"Please what, Granger?" he yelled at her. Stop saying please!

He towered over her and said, "My turn to say please, Mudblood. Please give me that fucking key, so I don't have to hurt you anymore. It's your fault you're scared and getting hurt. If you would just do as I say, you wouldn't get hurt!" As soon as those words were out of his mouth, he realized that they were the exact same things his father used to say to him every time he was beaten. 'If you would just behave, I wouldn't have to hurt you.' Or 'It's your fault you got hurt, you made me hurt you'.

He got back on the bed beside her, kneeling on his knees. She still had a death grip on the key. He pressed his body back down on hers and whispered in her ear, "Please, let go of the key, Granger." She started breathing hard again, and looked up at him. She shifted her weight so that she was on her back once more, and their bodies were pressed hard against each other.

"Please, Malfoy, please go away. Please don't hurt me," she pleaded. She looked directly in his eyes. They were only centimeters apart.

He let out a sigh and dropped his face into the crook of her neck. "I don't want to hurt you," he said. She started crying harder, and he brought his face back up from her neck and looked again in her eyes. She turned her face to the side and shut her crying eyes. She had the most heart wrenching uncontrollable sobs escaping her body. It was a sudden awaking to his soul. He felt like he was seeing through her, not looking at her. He took another deep breath and leaned closer, pressing his cheek against hers. He just needed to feel her closeness.

"Please," she tried to say again.

"Please what?" he asked again with a hoarse voice, "Please stop hurting you? Please leave you alone? Please go away? Please stop hating you? Please what, Granger?"

Finally, she answered him the only way she could. She opened her hand, which held the key, and with her hand on the pillow beside her head, and the key on her open palm, she answered him. "Please, take the key and leave."

He had broken her. He had won. He didn't even look at the key in her open hand. He reached for it though, and when he had the key in his hand, she looked up at him with her big brown eyes, and said, "GO!"

She moved her head so that she was now staring at the wall. He was still on top of her, with his weight supported by his elbows. He took his free hand and moved her face so that she would have to look at him again. She put both her hands on his chest and pressed as hard as she could. He leaned into her again, breathing hard, and he realized the worse possible thing he could ever realize. He wanted her. He longed for her. He probably had for a long time. He didn't love her. He couldn't love anyone. He hated everything about her, her heritage, or looks, or morals, yet, he probably did love her, as much as someone like Draco could love.

She didn't know the battle that was going on in his brain as he stared at her. She said, "You have the key, please leave."

"No," he said.

Then his lips came crashing down on hers. He kissed her with all the passion and pain that he had felt for so long. He kissed her so hard that he could taste her blood, her mud blood. He growled as he tasted her blood. He held her tightly, feeling her warm body underneath him. He looked up for a moment and she was still trying to push against him.

He started kissing her again, this time raining kisses all over her face, neck, chest and breasts. His hand went up and down her body. He could hear her crying under him, but he couldn't stop. He longed for her to kiss him back, and finally, to his surprise, she did.

She needed him as much as he needed her. He rolled over to his side and pulled her as close to him as he could. He wrapped his top leg over her legs. He tried to completely envelope her entire soul. They kissed each other with the promise and the passion that neither had ever felt before. He sucked on her bottom lip, and then moved his mouth to languished long licks with his tongue on her neck. Her gentle hands were moving up and down his back. He reached between them and put one of his hands on her breasts. After a few moments, they both stopped and suddenly, without words, they parted. At the exact same time, they realized that this was not how it was supposed to be.

He jumped off her bed as if he had been shocked. He looked down at the key that was still in his hand, and then looked down at her. He threw the key across the room. She curled up in a ball and turned to face the other wall. Her body was once more racked with sobs. He turned away from her to leave the room, but when he looked over his shoulder at her, he felt he owed her something…something he had owed her for a long time. In fact, she told him he still owed her something, and she was right.

"I'm sorry," he said. It was owed to her, and he said it. He wanted to say so much more. He wanted to say, 'I'm sorry for hurting you all those years...I'm sorry my father tried to kill you...I'm sorry I've been such a bigot and bastard to you...I'm sorry for hating you for no reason...I'm sorry for all the pain you've been through.' But he didn't say any of those things. He could only hope that when he said the simple 'I'm sorry,' that she would know all these other thoughts were implied.

He walked over to the door and sat on the floor next to the doorframe. She was still crying with her back to him. He decided he would just stay with her until she fell back to sleep; which she did after about an hour of crying. She probably cried her self to sleep, totally exhausted from the physical fight they just had, and from all the tears.

Even after she fell asleep, he didn't leave. He watched her sleep all night. Finally, when the sunlight began to replace the moon's glow in her bedroom, he decided to leave. He stood up and left. He didn't look back. If he had looked back, he would have seen her turn and watch his retreating figure leave the room.


	5. Beyond All Reason

5 - **Beyond All Reason**

She avoided him after that. Another week came and went, and he saw her maybe four times that entire week. Potter and Lupin had come back, and everyone continued with their boring routines. Lupin and Hermione would work everyday in the library. Potter would busy himself with Order business, and greeting the many visitors that came to 12 Grimmauld Place daily.

For Draco, a routine life was a welcomed surprise. It was nice to know what was expected each day. It was pleasant not to have to worry about his safety, or fear for his life. Yes, Draco Malfoy was content with the boring monotony that was now his existence. The only thing that would make it better would be if she would forgive him, but that was too much to hope.

One afternoon Draco was sitting alone in the kitchen, drinking tea and reading a book, when Remus walked in. "Draco, I was wondering, if you have the time, do you think you could make some Wolfsbane potion for me? I have all the ingredients, and I usually work on it myself, but I have been so busy helping Harry with the Order, and working on the book with Hermione, that I haven't had time to make any, and my supply is getting dangerously low."

"If I have the time?" Draco drawled, "What an insane question. All I have is time, Lupin."

Remus responded, "Well, I suppose what I was trying to ask was if you would mind making some for me. There is a small lab in the attic, and all the necessary ingredients are already there."

"I guess I could," Draco said without looking up from his book.

"Excellent," Remus stated. "So, I guess when Harry and I get back from Germany next week, you should have at least one batch fully matured and ready."

Draco looked up at this. Why did Potter and Lupin keep leaving on these little trips? What were they doing? "When are you leaving?" he asked.

"Oh, tonight actually," Lupin responded.

"Does Granger know?" Draco asked.

"Harry's telling her now."

Upstairs in the sitting room, Harry was indeed telling Hermione that he and Lupin had to go to Germany, because they had a lead on some escaped Death Eater, and they had to leave immediately.

"Oh, Harry, please don't go," Hermione cried out.

Draco was walking up the stairs at that precise moment, to return his book to the library. Well, actually, he was hoping to catch some of their conversation. He stood outside the door and listened carefully.

"Hermione," Harry began, "you know this work is important. You know there are still Death Eaters out there. You know we have to catch them all. We can't let any of them get away."

Draco thought, 'so,that's what they're up to when they leave here.'

"It's just; I am so scared for you, Harry. I can't have anything happen to you. I wouldn't survive if you died," Hermione said plainly. Then she added, "Why does Remus have to go with you this time?"

"Hermione, is this just about you being alone with Malfoy?" Harry asked.

"No, of course not."

"Did something happen the last time we left you two alone?" Harry inquired.

'Oh no,' Draco thought again, 'she'll tell him about what happened with the key'. Draco almost turned to leave, but then he heard her say, "Of course not, Harry. I would have told you if something had happened. I just don't like being alone with him, because he's such rotten company." She laughed, so Harry would think she was joking.

"Listen, Ron could come and stay," Harry stated.

"No, absolutely not," Hermione said sternly.

"Hermione, when are you going to forgive him? He loves you; he wants to be here for you, just like I'm here for you."

"No, Harry, not yet, I'm not ready to forgive him," she said. "Please, just don't go. I really need you." Draco peeked into the room, and saw Harry and Hermione wrapped in an embrace. Stupid bloody, Mudblood and Scarhead. Hermione started to cry. She said, "Please." Just like she said "Please" to him that night in her bedroom. She didn't want Potter to leave, because she was afraid to be alone with Draco. That thought made Draco shudder. He decided to let his presence be known.

As he walked into the room he said, "Get a room you two. No one wants to see your pathetic public displays of affection." He walked over with his book to the sofa, and sat down.

"Shove it, Malfoy," Harry leered at him. Hermione was still sighing softly, wrapped in Harry's arms. He said to Hermione, "It'll be okay. I'll be safe and in no time I'll be back. You'll see."

"It's just that I have no one but you, and that scares me sometimes," she said softly. He kissed her lips chastely. Why did he have to kiss her on her stupid Mudblood lips? Draco recoiled at the thought.

"Seriously," Draco blanched, "if you two are going to start snogging, I will have to leave, house arrest or not."

"I said shove it!" Harry yelled. He let go of Hermione, and walked over to Draco, and pointed his finger at the seated man and said, "You better just leave her the hell alone while we're gone. Don't talk to her, don't look at her, and don't even think about her."

"May I shag her?" Draco responded with a sly smile.

Harry had him up off the sofa is a split second. He pulled him up by his collar and pulled his wand out to point at his chest. If he was this angry about a joke, Draco had no doubt that Harry really would kill him if he knew that Draco had already kissed her.

Hermione walked up to Harry, and with her hand on his shoulder said, "Harry, he's just trying to get a rise out of you. Leave it. Let's not spend what little time we have left together worrying about him." Harry pushed Draco away from him, and Draco fell back down on the sofa. Harry pulled Hermione out of the room by her hand, and she limped along beside him. As they were leaving the room, she looked back and Draco, who was staring at her. She mouthed, "I hate you" to him before she turned to leave. Draco smiled.

He said aloud, "No you don't", and picked up his book and started to read.

Remus and Harry had been gone for three days. Draco had been busy in the attic, working on the Wolfsbane potion, so he hadn't seen Hermione at all. It was raining very hard that day. The thunder seemed to be taunting the lightning, and in response, the lightning was teasing the thunder back. The rain was torrential. The water was beating on the windowpanes, as if it were begging to be admitted into the house. Each time the thunder struck, the whole house seemed to shake.

Draco could no longer concentrate on the potion. He also felt a bit exposed to the elements up in the attic. He went down to eat some lunch, and on his way back up to his bedroom with his tea and sandwich, he saw her sitting in a large wingback chair, which was turned toward the window. She seemed lost in thought, while looking out the window at the sheets of rain coming down.

Draco thought she looked distant. In fact, she hadn't been herself for a while, but then again, did he really know the real Granger? He felt a tinge of guilt when he thought that her current depression was because of him and his actions. He knew she hadn't even worked on her book since Potter had been gone. As he stood there watching her, she craned her neck around, sensing his presence, and as she peeked her head around the side of the chair, she finally spoke, "You know you don't have to keep avoiding me." She turned back around to look back out the window.

"I'm not avoiding you, Granger. You're avoiding me," he said as he walked into the room, and sat in the other wing back chair, with only a table separating them. With her chair turned in the other direction than his, they were almost facing each other.

"Are you almost finished with the Wolfsbane potion for Remus?" she asked.

"Making small talk are we, Granger?" he asked as he took a bite of his sandwich. She just turned to look at him, and he held up his sandwich, as if to offer her a bite. She shook her head no.

Then she said, "We could always talk about how you tried to kill me in my sleep two weeks ago." Then she turned back to the window.

"Listen," Malfoy began, "I already said I was sorry. I'm not talking about that night, ever again. I'll go up to my room and leave you in peace." He started to get up, and as he reached for his cup, he knocked it off the end table and the china shattered on the floor.

He bent to pick it up, but then realized; "Granger, be a pal and use your wand to clean this up."

"No," she said, without even looking at him.

"Come on, I don't have a wand. I'll even pick up all the china, but you clean up the tea," he implored, while picking up the china.

Again, without looking at him, she said, "No."

"You're a bitch, Granger," he said. He went down to the kitchen to get a towel, and came back up and cleaned the tea from the floor.

After he cleaned up the mess, he sat back down, and looked at her, really looked at her. "What are you doing here, Granger?" he asked.

"Watching the rain," she answered plainly.

"No, I mean, what are you doing in this house?" he clarified.

"What are you doing in this house, Malfoy?" she countered.

"I had nowhere else to go, you stupid bint!" he shouted at her.

"Well, there you go," she answered. What did she mean by that?

"Why don't you go home?" he continued.

"I don't have a home in which to go," she said.

"Where are your parents?" he asked, already knowing where her parents were.

"Where are yours?" she came back, also knowing where his parents were.

"I think you are well aware that they're dead, Granger." He was getting angry and her vague answers were exacerbating the situation.

"Mine are as well," she said in a small voice, still staring at the rain.

He actually already knew her parents were dead. That was something he just could not temporarily forget, but he didn't want her to know that he already knew this. "How did they die?" he asked with just a trace of empathy, and a smaller trace of sympathy.

"Death Eaters," she answered.

"Do you know who killed them?" he inquired.

She shifted in her chair and looked directly at him. "Yes, I know, but don't ask me, I won't tell you that." She stood from the chair, and turned it, so it was turned once more toward the room, mirroring the Draco's chair. She started to limp out of the room, and she asked, "Anymore questions, Malfoy?"

"Will the death of your parents be in your little book?" He stood as he asked this, with anger in his voice. He came and stood a mere handbreadth from her.

"No, it won't," she said as she looked at him.

"Being a bit hypocritical, aren't you, Granger? No matter, for no one would care to read about the death of two Muggles, anyhow. It's just I thought since I was going to be mentioned in your book, it would only be fair that you mentioned things pertaining to yourself."

"And once again, you answered your own question." She walked closer to him, and looked at him, with anger in her eyes. He realizes he was being rather mean, saying that about her parents, but who really cared?

"What are you talking about now, you crazy Mudblood?" He towered over her.

"You asked me if I was a hypocrite, and I'm answering that I guess I am. Since I don't intend to mention the death of my parents in the manuscript, I guess it's only fair that I don't mention your father's death. That's all I meant." She sat back down in her chair and continued, "I already took out all references of your father's death. It still mentions that he was a Death Eater, and your involvement in Dumbledore's death is still mentioned, but not how your father died." She now had her eyes shut, and was rubbing her temples with her fingers.

He was confused. "So, let me get this straight, you took out the fact that I killed my own father? Did you do this so you wouldn't have to mention your parents, or did you do it for unselfish reasons?" he sneered.

"It doesn't matter," she answered back.

"I thought your little book was going to be an accurate and historical account of the war, Mudblood. It seems like you are playing around with the facts, and glossing over certain aspects, which you don't like. Not very honest, if you ask me," he said as he sat back down.

"If I mention that my parents were killed by Death Eaters, I would have to mention why they were killed." She looked at him through tired eyes.

"Weren't they just killed because they produced a Mudblood atrocity known as Hermione Granger?" he said with malice.

"No, if you really want to know, Malfoy, they were killed in retaliation for your father's death; at least that's what the note, which was written in their blood on their living room wall, said." She glared at him, and her bottom lip began to tremble.

He stood back up and rushed over to her, lifting her from her seat. He grabbed her by her upper arms, shook her hard, and asked, "What the hell are you playing at, Granger?"

"I'm telling you the accurate and historical truth of how my parents died. You father had just cursed me and I was still in St. Mungos. My parents had finally gone home to get some sleep, after spending 48 hours at my bedside. They were convinced to go home by Ron. He was supposed to go with them, to watch over them, but he decided to stay at the hospital, with me. That night they were murdered in their sleep. The 'note' that was left on our living room wall, in their blood, said, and I quote: '_The Mudblood's parent's death is in exchange for the death of Lucius Malfoy, by his own son's hand, by order of Lord Voldemort."._

He shook her again, and said weakly, "I don't believe you. There was no note left in blood." He knew about their death, but this was too much. He didn't know about that.

She looked at him, and her tears began to fall. "I don't care what you believe," she answered.

"Tell me if you know who killed them this instant!" he demanded.

"I won't tell you that. Since they were killed in retaliation for your father, maybe you could just pretend you killed them. Better yet, tell yourself I killed them. That's what I tell myself every minute, of everyday." She started crying freely, and he was still holding her by the upper arms. He decided her would not hug her, or hold her, since he was not bloody saint Potter. Still, he didn't let go of her arms.

Draco had a prickly feeling on the back of his neck. He was suddenly hot and felt like he was going to be sick. He ran from her, and before he could make it to the bathroom, he threw-up, right there on the stairs. She sat back down. She didn't know what to do to help him. He came back to the sitting room, took the same towel he had used to clean up the tea earlier, and went to clean up the stairs.

He went upstairs for a moment, and when he came back down, she was no longer there. He needed to find her. He ran back up the stairs, two at a time, and went to her room. Once again, her door was unlocked, as if inviting him inside. She was sitting in a chair by the bed, again looking out at the dark stormy sky.

"Why have I not seen you use any magic since I've been here, Granger?" He didn't know he was going to ask that question, though it begged to be asked.

"I can't," she said with a small voice.

"Why?" Draco inquired.

"Like you, I don't have my wand, and I'm prohibited from using magic anyway, at least for the time being," she explained. She continued to stare out the window.

He walked closer to her, and sat down on her bed. He was an arms reach from her, so he touched her shoulder. She turned to look at him. "Why are you prohibited from using magic?"

"Like you, I'm on probation. I'm also here under house arrest, and I'm prohibited from using magic for another few months," she said this as if she was explaining things to a child.

"Why the hell are you on probation?" he asked, perplexed.

"I killed a man after the war had already ended. He was defenseless, without a wand, and was about to surrender to the Order, and I killed him," she said, while removing his hand from her shoulder.

"Who did you kill?" he asked.

"Severus Snape," she said, as she looked him squarely in the eye.


	6. Someone is Lying

6 - **Someone is Lying**

"What did you just say?" Draco could not believe what he had just heard.

"I killed Severus Snape," she answered boldly.

"No, you didn't, Granger!" he said to her firmly.

"Yes, yes I did, Malfoy!" she answered back with just as much ire.

"NO, YOU DIDN"T!" You didn't kill Snape!" he bellowed.

"Then tell me this, Malfoy," she began, "why was I charged and then convicted of the crime?"

"I don't know, but I know you didn't kill him!" He was becoming very angry indeed.

"Draco, just stop this, there's no use arguing. I was charged with killing Snape. I was sentenced to a year probation and house arrest. I am also prohibited from performing magic during that time, end of discussion." Now she was angry.

"What evidence did they have to charge you with the murder?" He really wanted to know.

"There was no evidence," she said, feeling numb from their argument.

"If there was no evidence, then they had no reason to convict you! How could they convict you without evidence?" he asked incredulously.

"Because I confessed," she explained with a sigh.

"Why would you confess to a crime you didn't commit?" he asked while shaking his head.

"Why WOULD I confess to a crime I didn't commit?" she echoed.

"Listen, you stupid bitch, I don't know what fantasy world you're living in, maybe that massive brain of yours finally collapsed upon itself, but I know for certain that you didn't kill Severus Snape." As he was said this, he reached out to grab her to shake her senseless.

"How do you know for certain that I didn't kill him?" she yelled.

"I know you didn't kill him because I killed him, Granger! I killed Severus Snape! Not you, me!" Draco confessed. "So, that's how I know for certain that you didn't kill him." He let go of her arms and started pacing the room, muttering under his breath, "stupid Mudblood" and "why would you confess?"

She was afraid of his angry diatribe, so she decided to try to sneak out of the room. She made it halfway down the stairs before he caught up with her. He started down the stairs as well, and stood several steps below her, so they were eye level with each other. He told her, "I'm not done with you, yet! Tell me why you would confess to a crime you didn't commit?"

"I'll tell you what you want to know, if you'll tell me something first," she stated. He merely cocked his head to the side, and motioned with his hands for her to continue. "Why did you kill Snape?"

"I don't have to answer to you, Granger!" he remarked.

"Then I don't have to answer to you either," she said to him.

He actually screamed. He looked up to the ceiling, threw his arms in the air and screamed! "I hate you so much!" he said after screaming.

"Listen you spoiled brat, the day you answer my question will be the day I answer yours. Now get out of my way and let me pass," Hermione said. When he did not move, she tried to push him out of the way. When that did not work, she tried to move around him, and he mirrored her movements, so she still could not pass. She tried to push him again, and he just would not budge. With her hands still on his chest, she said, "I mean it, Malfoy, you better move out of my way!"

"What if I don't? Are you going to hex me? Oh, that's right, you can't do magic because you were convicted of A CRIME YOU DIDN"T COMMIT!!" he bellowed at her.

She looked at him and said humbly, "Please move, Draco."

"Don't think calling me Draco will soften me up; your Mudblood feminine wiles will not work with me, Granger," he scoffed.

"Listen, I'll call you ambulance in a minute, if you don't get out of my way. I may not be able to hex you, but I will push you down the stairs," she threatened.

"Yeah, and with that gimpy leg of yours, you would probably be the one that falls, and then I would have to explain to Potter that the reason his little Mudblood girlfriend's neck is broken is because she was being such a bitch."

This time Hermione screamed. "AARRGGHHH! I hate you, Malfoy!"

"Yeah, well we've already established that I hate you, too!" At that he picked her up, threw her over his shoulder, and carried her up the stairs, kicking and screaming. He really did hate her sometimes, he thought as he headed toward his room. He threw her on his bed, as hard as he could, and then locked his door and cross his arms and looked at her with an expression that 'dared her' to even try to get up.

As he loomed over her, larger than life, he told her "You are such a stupid, bloody, Mudblood."

"Yes, Malfoy, you've told me that many times. Tell me something I haven't heard before," she taunted.

He wanted to hit her! Instead, he hit the wall. Then he kicked the chair. Then he picked up the chair and smashed it against the floor. Then he hit the door. Then he practically jumped on her and pinned her to his bed.

She very calmly looked up at his red and angry face and asked, "Are you through with your temper tantrum, you spoiled brat?"

She was right, of course. The stupid Mudblood was right as always. He was acting like a spoiled brat. That was how he acted all his life when he didn't get his way. He got off her, and sat on the bed with his head in his hands. He said softly, "I'm not lying when I said I really do hate you sometimes. No one in my entire life makes me as angry as you."

He turned to look at her, as she was still lying on his bed, biting her bottom lip nervously, and she said, "It's too bad you hate me so much, Malfoy. Hate is a wasted emotion, you know, and I don't hate you, not really." She sat up and swung her legs over the edge of the bed.

She was too calm for him. He was calm as well, but seeing her calm made him angry all over again. To be mean, just to see her crack, he said, "Not only do I hate you, but I wish I could kill you myself, with my bare hands."

"Don't you think you've killed enough people?" she asked him.

Oh, no, she did not just say that to him. He stood quick as a cat, picked her up again, swung her back over his shoulder, opened his door and deposited her directly on the floor in the hallway. He threw her hard. Maybe she would break a bone or two. He slammed his door shut and fell flat on his bed, on his stomach. He screamed into his pillow, "STUPID BLOODY MUDBLOOD!!"

She lay on the floor in the hallway, realizing that she would have to try to get up somehow, and knowing that would not be easy with the stupid brace on her left leg. She reached down, pulled up her slacks, and started to loosen the buckles on the brace. He was still on his bed, and he decided to check the hall to see if she was gone. He opened his door, and looked down at her, and he realized what she was trying to do. He rolled his eyes again, and threw his hands up in the air. All he thought was, 'she can't even make a dramatic exit, because of her stupid, Mudblood, gimpy leg.' He swooshed her up in his arms again, and walked her down to her room, threw her on her bed, and left her there.


	7. To Tell the Truth

7 - **To Tell the Truth**

Draco was lying on his bed, in his dark room, listening to the rain coming down outside. It had been 24 hours since she told him she killed Snape, he had not left his room, and it was still raining. As he listened to the never-ending rain, he wished that he could leave. He wanted to leave the house so badly. He did not care where he went, he just wanted to go. He was sick of it all. He sincerely thought that being in prison would be better than being in this house.

Why would she confess to Snape's murder? Did she know when she confessed that he was the true murderer? Was that part of her payback to him for saving her life? He wished he could ask her all these things, but the stubborn bitch refused to answer his questions, until he answered hers. The truth was he could not answer her question, because if he did, he would have to be honest with himself, and he was not yet ready to be honest. One of things he did not want to be honest about was that he did not hate the Mudblood, so at this moment, he really could not tell her why he killed Snape.

Something else that bothered him, besides the realization that he really didn't hate her, and that she confessed to a murder she didn't commit, was that if she really did confess to murdering Snape, then why did she only get one year probation, and house arrest. Why was she not in prison?

Draco pondered these things, and then his mind wandered to that night, almost a year ago, that he had killed Snape. It weighed on his mind more than his own father's murder. The final battle was over and Voldemort had been defeated. There were many casualties and the whole British Wizarding word was in turmoil. The Ministry of Magic was in chaos, and Draco Malfoy was on the run.

Both sides wanted him; after all, he had played both sides. He would not feel safe turning himself over to either side, so he felt it was better to keep a low profile, and to live a life on the run.

He decided to go to a country house his family owned. It was small, unplottable, and no one from either side knew of its existence, or so he had thought. He was not going to stay there long. Just a few days to get some rest; get some food and supplies, get some money, and then he was going to be on his way. If only it had been that simple.

Draco sat up in his bed, and turned on the light in his room. Why was he reliving all of this now? He didn't want to think of that night, but as he fell back down on his bed, he could think of nothing else.

He remembered that as soon as he entered the country house, he felt a presence. He knew something was amiss. He went from room to room, and when he entered the last room to look around, he heard a spell and everything went dark.

When he awoke, he discovered Severus Snape standing over him, pointing a wand at his chest. Snape told him to get up, so he did. It would have been a falsehood to say that Draco was shocked to see his former teacher there. Snape asked Draco were he had been, and what he had been doing. Draco remembered he thought it was a weird time for a friendly little chat.

Draco asked Snape were he had been, and what he had been doing, and why he was not yet dead. The older man laughed at that. Snape told Draco to go and collect whatever he came to get from the house, and then they would be on their way. When Draco asked where they were going, Snape told him it didn't matter. Of course, it mattered!

They escaped into the night and ended up at Spinner's End, Snape's house. Snape ask Draco whose side he was really on during the war. Draco told him he was on his own side. Snape remarked that he taught Draco well. Snape then informed Draco that members of the Order of the Phoenix would be arriving shortly to take them both captive. He said he had decided to turn himself in, and that Draco would be wise to do the same. He said that the Order members were a bunch of self-righteous fools, and that they would believe both of them if they told them they were only on their side during the war.

Draco told Snape to go to hell.

Snape tried to reason with Draco. He told him that was their only chance for survival. He told Draco that just because Draco's mother was dead, didn't mean that Snape wouldn't fulfill their unbreakable vow to protect him. He would still try to keep Draco safe.

He also told Draco that he knew he had to kill his own father to save face with the Order. He knew Draco didn't do it to save the Mudblood. He told Draco that Draco had made too many mistakes, and had exposed himself to the Dark Lord, and that Voldemort knew Draco was working both sides. He said that Draco was foolish to try to give the Dark Lord empty, useless information, and that was why Snape did what he did. He said that he contacted Granger himself, pretending to be Draco, and told her to meet him at the safe house. Then, he told Lucius that Granger would be there, and convinced Lucius that if he wanted to ensure Draco's value to the Dark Lord, he would go to the safe house and kill Granger. That way, the Dark Lord would know how important the information Draco gave them was. Draco couldn't believe that Snape knew Lucius was planning on torturing and killing Granger!

He laughed when he told Draco that if he had been smart, he would have let his father kill the girl, and then someone from the Order would have killed Lucius, thus solving two problems.

Then Snape told him the one thing that finally pushed Draco over the edge. He said that since Draco was feeding information to both sides and the Dark Lord was aware of that, and since his plan to rectify the problem was ruined when Draco showed up and killed Lucius, Snape had to find another way to save Draco. So, he came up with the plan to murder the Mudblood's parents. He told the Dark Lord that their murders were Draco's idea. He also told Draco that it was ironic, that by saving Granger, he actually was responsible for both his father's death and her parents' deaths.

Draco yelled at Snape and told him he shouldn't have interfered with his life. He never wanted Granger dead, and he never asked for Snape's help.

The final thing that broke Draco was when Snape said that Granger was just a little know-it-all Mudblood, whose life didn't matter in the scheme of things. All that mattered was that Draco was safe. He told Draco if they got their stories straight, perhaps the Ministry would be lenient on Draco, since he killed his own father for the girl. He told Draco there was a positive aspect after all.

Draco asked Snape how he would explain away the deaths of Granger's parents. Snape said no one ever needed to know of his involvement. Draco was not involvement in that! That's why he had asked Granger if she knew who killed her parents. He was afraid she would think he did. Maybe in a way, he did.

Draco felt bile rising in his throat as he thought over all these things. Then he remembered what he did after Snape's speech. He remembered it as if it had just happened this morning. When Snape turned his back on Draco, Draco drew his wand.

Snape asked Draco if he was going to kill him. Draco said yes, because all the madness had to end. All the lies had to cease, because he was tired. Snape drew his wand as well, and told Draco not to ruin everything he had worked so hard for, and to think about things. He told Draco everything he had done; he had done for Draco, out of the goodness of his heart.

His heart? Draco thought at the time that Snape had no heart. He told him as much, and then Snape laughed again, and asked Draco if he had a heart. He told Draco that the death of a couple of Muggles was inconsequential and not any reason to finally grow a conscious. Snape told Draco if he really wanted a fresh start, then the lies were the only way. No, Draco said. There was another. He raised his wand, as did Snape. Snape however, faltered, while Draco did not. He uttered the death curse to his former professor, his godfather, and watched in horror as he fell to the ground.

Draco remembered all these things on that rainy night, so long ago, and he sat down and cried. He cried for what was about to come, and for everything that had passed. He recalled how he waited for the Order members to come for him. When they came, he was going to tell them he killed Snape.

The thing was, when they did come to interrogated him, not once did they ask him if he killed Snape - not once. A dead man was found lying at his feet, and no one asked him how he died, or if Draco killed him. He always thought that was odd. Maybe they were all just glad Snape was dead.

Draco never told anyone he killed Snape, until last night when he told Granger, but surely, someone knew. Surely, she knew. Was that why she confessed? Did she know that the Ministry would figure out he killed Snape? Did she know that while the Order was probably just happy that the person who killed Dumbledore was finally dead, that the Ministry would think otherwise and still want to make Draco pay?

He was so tired of thinking. He had not thought these things through this clearly before. Tonight he thought too much. He stood up, walked over to his door, and walked out of his room. He was ready to answer Granger's questions.


	8. I'll Tell You, if You Tell me

8 - **I'll tell you, if you tell me**

He knocked on her door, and there was no answer, as it was late, after all. She was probably already in bed. He stuck his head in her room, and saw she was sitting on the chair by the bed with a book in her lap. Upon closer inspection, he saw that she indeed was asleep; the book perched precariously close to the edge of her knee, ready to slip off at the slightest movement. In her slumber, he thought she looked innocent, peaceful. He thought how her peaceful look was deceptive. The fact that she looked untouched and untainted was so different from her reality.

He walked over to the chair and reached for the dangling book. As he grasped it in his hand, he said, "Granger, wake up." She opened her eyes, and unlike the last time he came into her room in the middle of the night, she didn't seem surprised to find him there.

"What time is?" she instinctively asked.

"Hell if I know," he answered honestly. Then he said, "May we talk for a moment?" She merely nodded her head yes, while she wiped the sleep from her eyes and stretched her arms above her head. He sat down on her bed and asked, "When you confessed to killing Snape, did you already know that I was the one who had killed him?"

"Yes," she stated.

"How?" he asked back.

"From you," she said.

He looked confused and said, "I didn't tell you, Granger. I think I would have remembered that. I never told anyone about it, until I told you the other day."

"Listen, Malfoy, it's complicated. I went to meet Snape with Ron, before Harry, Moody and Tonks arrived. We had Harry's invisibility cloak. We were waiting there for Snape to arrive. Harry didn't trust Snape to really turn himself in, and he felt he had ulterior motives, so he sent Ron and me there first, to see if we could find out what he was all about."

"Let me get this straight," Draco began, as everything started falling into place, "you and Weasel were already there when Snape and I arrived?"

"Yes, I'm sorry, but we were. We heard everything. We heard Snape's confession about his involvement with the safe house and your father's attack on me, we heard him confess to his duplicity, and how he arranged my parents' deaths. While you were both arguing, Ron whispered to me to stay where I was, because if I moved, you might have heard me because of my brace, and that he was going to go get reinforcements. He left right before you drew your wand at Snape."

"So, you saw me kill Snape?" he asked.

"Yes," she answered softly, "I saw the whole thing. First, you have to realize, I would never have let him kill you. I would have let my presence known if I thought that would happen. Second, I wanted him dead. I really did. Maybe I could have prevented it, but I wanted you to kill him. So, you see, I'm just as guilty as you." She turned away to look out the window before she continued.

"After the rest of the Order arrived, you were so distraught, that you didn't even see me there. When Tonks and Moody left with you, Harry asked Ron and me what happened. Ron told Harry what he had seen, but assured Harry that when he left, Snape was still alive. When Harry asked me how Snape died, I lied. I told him that I killed him. I told him that he raised his wand to kill you, and I killed him. The idea just came to me suddenly. I didn't think it through, I just said it. Somehow, I wanted to protect you, because you saved my life. Also, I was honest when I said that after I heard what he said about my parents, I really did want him dead."

After her long speech, he looked down at his hands. He didn't know what to say. He looked at her and said, "And you're telling me that Potter, Weasley, and everyone else from the Order believed that you were the one that killed Snape?"

"Harry didn't believe me at first, and Ron doesn't believe it to this day," she answered. "To be honest, I think Harry knows the truth, but he's never confronted me."

Draco told her, "I'm not sure this really answers my question, you know, why you confessed to the murder, but I'm just as vague as to the reasons I killed him, so I guess your reasons are as good as mine."

"Listen, Malfoy," she said as she stood up to take the two steps that separated the chair and the bed, "everyone deserves a second chance. You gave me mine, and I gave you yours. Let us do the most with them and not waste them. Let's not let all of our sacrifices be in vain," she lectured.

"Two more things, Granger," he began, "how did you know you would receive such a light sentence for the murder? Does this have anything to do with the fact that you and Weasel are no longer friends?"

She was standing right in front of him, and put one hand on his shoulder. "Ron and I have a lot of things to work out, but we're still friends. That's something you'll learn eventually. You can be angry with someone and that person can still be your friend. The thing with Ron and me, well, that's not your concern. About the other thing, I didn't know what type of sentence I would receive. I guess I got lucky with that. I mean, they took into consideration that he killed my parents, and he was about to kill you."

She put her other hand on his shoulder as well, and was now standing between his knees. She was staring at him so intently, that it was making him self-conscious. "Malfoy, I don't want you to tell Harry or anyone what I told you here today."

"I think I have to," he said to her. He put his arms around her waist, and buried his head in her chest. He was holding her tight, and she put her arms around neck. She stroked his hair. "I can't really have a true second chance at life if I live with lies. It's no better than what Snape wanted me to do." He was still holding her and he decided it was better not to look at her. He didn't want to see the look in her eye.

She moved to sit on his knee, and he thought it was the most intimate thing anyone had ever done. "Please, Draco, I beg you. I want you to have the peace of mind that you crave, and the happiness you deserve, but you telling them the truth and going to prison will not change anything. Please, I don't want you to tell them." She was stroking his cheek. He felt like he could not breathe. He was so confused.

Many minutes past, with her sitting on his lap, stroking his face and hair, and his arms wrapped tightly around her. Finally, he told her "Fine, I won't tell them. I'll let you do this for me. I don't have to like it, but I'll appreciate it until the day I die." He put her off his lap, and sat her on the bed beside him. Then he lay back on the bed, with his feet still on the floor. He put one arm over his eyes, and said, "I hated you for so long, so very long."

"I hated you too, along with everything you stood for, you know," she replied.

He moved his arm to look at her, and said, "Did you really? I could never tell," and then he smiled as he covered his eyes once again. "Where do we go from here, Granger?"

"I really don't know, Malfoy," she told him as she lay on her side on the bed beside him.

She continued to stare at him and he finally turned his head, removed his arm from in front of his face, and asked, "What?"

"I didn't say anything," she confessed.

"You're staring at me," he said.

"I didn't know that was a crime now," she said with a smile. She put her left hand on his cheek. She leaned over him and kissed his forehead. Then she kissed his left cheek, then his right cheek, then the tip of his nose. She leaned away from him, and mocked him by saying, "What?"

"Don't 'what' me, Granger. Why did you just kiss me?" He seemed peeved.

"I wanted to," she answered.

"Well, you don't always get what you want," he said back to her. He covered his eyes again, mostly because he didn't want her to see the longing he felt for her.

"I thought YOU always got what YOU wanted, Malfoy," she said as she put her left hand on his chest. He removed the arm from his eyes and put his hand over hers. Then she said, "Anyway, I was just answering your question."

"For what, pray tell, question was that an answer?" he inquired.

"When you asked me 'where do we go from here,' that was my answer." She sat up.

He sat up as well and said, "You're crazy."

"Well, I believe that's the nicest thing you have ever called me, Malfoy," she said in all seriousness.

He thought about that for a moment, and he realized that it probably _was_ the nicest thing he had ever called her. He stood up, and wiped his sweaty hands on his trousers, and turned to her and said, "So you don't like my other forms of endearments? Mudblood, stupid bitch, bloody bint, whore…"

She interrupted him and said, "When have you called me a whore? I'm not a whore, Malfoy." She said it with a tinge of true anger.

"Oh, I just remembered, that was someone else. I believe that's my pet name for Potter," he answered. He offered her his hand and she took it and he helped her stand. He said, "So, now that we aren't enemies anymore, does that mean I can't call you Mudblood?" She thought he was serious, until he smirked.

"You can still call me that in front of others, if you don't want them to know we're friends," she said as she looked at his hand holding hers.

"Are we friends?" he asked.

"I would like to be," she offered.

"Like you and Potter, all touchy feely, lovey-dovey. I don't think so, Granger." He let go of her hand. He looked at the floor.

She was disappointed. She told him, "Well, of course we would never be as close as Harry and me. He's Harry, so I do not know what we are, Malfoy. Maybe we can talk about this another time. I'm tired and would like to go to bed."

He inclined his head toward the door, and said, "So, I'll be off then." He started around the bed, and she sat down upon it. He turned to look at her. She reached down to remove her leg brace. He watched her carefully unbuckle each strap, and he suddenly felt pathetic, watching her doing something that he felt he should not watch. She got under the covers. He turned back around, swiftly, and went back to the bed. He sat on the side of the bed and cradled her into his arms. He held her and said, "I would like to be your friend, Hermione." He leaned a way from her, took one of her hands, and brushed a kiss on her knuckles. Her hand tingled from the sensation left from his lips.

His throat felt tight and his heart was pounding. If he didn't get off the bed that very moment, he might never be able to leave. He wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. He felt so very confused. She threw her arms around his shoulders and kissed his cheek. He could feel her breasts pressed against his chest and he felt a burn where her lips kissed his cheek.

Unable to take the torture his body was feeling one second longer, he knew that he would either have to leave her room immediately, or pull her to him and beg her body to be with his, so that she would never leave him. He decided he had better go. He stood up quickly, but smiled at her so she wouldn't think she had done anything wrong.

"Go to sleep now, Granger. Potter will be back tomorrow, and you don't want him to question why your look so tired. He might think there's something wicked going on between us." He hurried out of the room, without a backwards glance.

As he was almost out of the door, she said "Goodnight, Draco." He didn't return her goodnight, but he smiled at himself, because she called him Draco, and because he finally felt content for the first time in years.


	9. Some Wounds Can't Heal

9 - **Some Wounds Won't Heal**

To say things were not still awkward between them would have been a lie. They were just awkward for different reasons than before. Potter and Lupin came back the next day. Draco really did want to tell Potter the truth about Snape, but he decided he would respect her wishes and keep it to himself. He had another appointment with his probation officer. He told Draco that he would have to stay put for the time being. That was fine by him.

When the probation officer left, Draco wandered into the library. Hermione and Lupin were working on their book. He asked them, "Do you need any help in here?" Remus and Hermione looked at each other, and then looked at him, and while Hermione said "no", Remus said "sure."

Hermione gave Remus a funny look, and said, "We don't really need any help." Then she looked back at Draco and told him, "We're just doing our final edit."

Remus said, "Actually, Hermione, I'm feeling rather peevish at the moment. Too close to the full moon, I guess. I would rather appreciate Draco taking over for me, if you don't mind." He got up and rubbed his eyes. He motioned for Draco to sit, which he did, and then he said, "As Hermione stated, we're in our final edit stage. Just read everything, correct any spelling or grammatical errors, and check proper references when we directly referred to a specific name or event. Also, list anything we may have forgotten in the footnotes, and make sure we cross referenced the proper sources whenever we sited another source."

Draco raised his eyebrows and said, "Is that all?" with a sarcastic laugh.

Remus laughed and said, "You wanted to help." He patted Draco on the shoulder, turned to Hermione, and said, "I'll be upstairs resting if you need me."

They sat and worked in silence for over an hour. Finally, she stretched and asked, "I could use a break, how about you?"

"I guess. Actually, I'm hungry. It's about time for tea, let's go down to the kitchen and get some food," he suggested to her.

"What is it with men and their stomachs?" she asked while standing from her chair, "You would think that there's nothing more important than food. It's like their stomach is the most important part of their anatomy."

He looked at her funny and said, "Whose authority are you basing this assumption on, Granger. Because, I can tell you, there are most certainly more important things than food, and my stomach most certainly is not the most important part of MY anatomy"

She laughed and said, "Maybe I spent too many years with Ron." They went down stairs to get something to eat, and sitting at the table with Harry was none other than Ron.

"Well, speak of the devil," Malfoy said.

"We weren't talking about you, Malfoy," Ron retorted back.

"Well touché, Weasel," he said as he went to make himself some tea. He turned to ask Granger if she wanted any, but he saw that she was still frozen in the same spot, and had yet to enter the room. She had a frown on her face, was glaring at Weasley, and then at Potter.

She turned to walk back upstairs, but Harry got up to stop her. "Hermione, please come in and talk to us. This is getting extreme. You need to forgive him." She turned back around, and if looks could kill, Potter would be the 'Boy who Lived' to be killed by his best friend's glare. Draco leaned against the counter, began to eat a biscuit, and thought, 'this should be fun.'

Weasley stood up and crossed over to Hermione. "Hermione, I've missed you so much. Please, come in and talk to me."

"I don't want to talk to you, Ron, and Harry, I told you to let me work this out on my own, so stop interfering." She then turned to Draco and said, "Bring your tea and sandwiches up to the library and we can get back to work."

She went upstairs and he fixed a tray and followed her. She was sitting at the desk, but not working. She was just staring into space. "Granger, here's tea," Draco said as he entered.

She was still staring at nothing at all, as she started to eat a sandwich. She took one bite, and then she threw the sandwich against the wall and said, "He makes me so angry!"

"Listen, if you didn't want the sandwich, you could have just told me. You didn't have to throw it." He stood and retrieved the pieces of the sandwich and returned them to the tray. He sat on the edge of the desk and moved her chin with his hand, so she would have to look at him. "Tell me, what's going on with you and Weasley? Does it have anything to do with the death of your parents?"

She looked at him with furrowed brows and said, "Where would you get that idea?"

"I overheard Potter telling you to forgive him, and you mentioned that Ron was supposed to go home with your parents that night, so I guess I put two and two together," he tried to explain.

"What, that equals five? Don't be so dense," she responded sharply. "I don't blame Ron for my parents' death; he might have been killed too, if he had gone there that night. Harry just thinks he knows everything."

Draco laughed and said, "I've been complaining of the exact same thing about Potter for years, and no one would listen." She gave him another dirty look and stood to leave. He put his arm out to block her way, and said, "If that's not the reason, what is?"

"You're the reason," she responded.

"What do you mean by that?" he asked perplexed.

She tried to clarify, "He suspects that I lied about killing Snape to protect you."

"He would be right. Why be angry with him for that?" he asked as he moved to the other chair and started to eat his sandwich.

"He doesn't understand anything. He thinks we should all just still hate each other. Even though he knows Snape is the reason that your father was at that safe house, he still blames you for my injuries. Even though he knows Snape had my parents killed, he blames you. I think secretly it is easier to blame you than for him to feel blame. He was supposed to accompany me to the safe house that night, but for some unknown reason he asked his brother Charlie to go in his place. I think he feels guilty for not being there. I think he feels jealous that you saved me, and he didn't. He also regrets leaving me behind at Snape's house that night and he's taking out all his anger toward me. He accused me of having feelings for you, and of romanticizing the war. He doesn't give me any credit for anything." She put her head down on the desk.

"Were you and Weasel ever anything more than friends?" he tried to ask with an air of indifference, although what he felt was completely different.

"Yes, we were involved. We were involved up until the day I confessed to murdering Snape. At least, he was still involved with me. I don't think I have felt the same thing that Ron felt for a long time. Maybe it's easier to be angry with him, than to admit that to anyone," Hermione answered.

She stood to leave, took one drink of her tea, and added, "I'm going upstairs to rest."

"Hey, Granger," Draco said, and she turned back to look at him, "not that I'm a expert on this whole friend thing, what with you being my first one, but it seems to me that you really don't have a very good reason to be angry at the Weasel bee. Maybe Potter's right, maybe it's time to move on and forgive."

"Some wounds won't heal, Malfoy," she said sadly.

He stood to stand in front of her, and said, "You've forgiven me, and I've done much worse things to you in my life. Weasley acted like a jealous prat, and called you out about your feelings for me, and you can't forgive him? Either you're not telling me the whole story, or you're a very shallow person."

"Coming from 'Mr. Shallow' that's saying a lot," she responded sternly. She walked out of the room and slammed the door shut hard.

It was after midnight when Draco heard the door to his room creak open. He could see a small figure enter. He was a light sleeper and he had learned to pay close attention to the smallest of sounds, especially at night. Hermione walked over to his bed and stood there for a moment. He shut his eyes, so she would think he was asleep. He tried to steady his breathing. He knew that his irregular breaths would alert her to his ruse. Why was she in his room?

She turned to leave again, when he sat up, grabbed her wrist, and pulled her down so that she fell on top of him. She said, "You scared me, Malfoy!"

"You sneak into my room, and I scared you? What are you doing here, Granger?" he hissed.

"If you would let me up, I'll tell you," she complained.

"I don't think I will. I like you on top of me," he joked.

"Does that mean you're a 'bottom' Malfoy?" she leered.

"You probably don't even know what that means, Granger," he laughed as he let her push away from his naked torso.

"Do you have clothes on under there?" She seemed just now to realize that his chest was indeed bare.

"No, actually, I don't," he said with another laugh. "Is that why you came in here, to see if I was naked?"

"No," she said embarrassed.

"Please, don't make me ask a ton of questions. Just tell me why you're here," he pleaded with a yawn.

"I had a nightmare," she responded.

"And…." He motioned with his hand for her to continue.

"And, I couldn't sleep," she finished.

"So you decided if you couldn't sleep, no one could?" he asked back.

"That's not it. I just didn't want to be alone," she whined.

"Your precious Potter is here tonight. I'm sure he will comfort you in your distressing state," he said with some malice in his voice, "so go back to bed, Granger. I already told you, I don't do the whole 'cuddle to make you feel better' thing." He let her go and she sat beside him on his bed. He turned to his side, away from her, faced the wall, and shut his eyes. The truth was he knew he could not be trusted to just lay in the same bed with her, and not take it beyond the "comfort" stage. He was beginning to have real feelings for her, genuine feelings. He was attracted to her and it was not because she was the only female for miles.

"Harry is preoccupied at the moment with Ronald." She rolled her eyes.

"I knew they were more than just friends," Draco joked, "however, that's your problem, not mine."

"I'm sorry," she said softly. She started to stand to leave, but he had her by her wrist and refused to let go. He also refused to turn back and look at her. She tried to get up again but he held on tighter. "Malfoy," she said, "if you don't let me go, I can't leave." He still had her by her wrist and all of the sudden he tugged on her and pulled her over his body so that she was on her back, pinned between him and the wall.

"What's the meaning of this?" she asked, trying to sound braver than she felt.

"Tell me what you want. What do you really want?" he asked, with hooded eyes. He put his hand on her flat stomach, and started rubbing little circles on top of her nightgown, up and down her stomach, with the tips of his fingers. She felt hot and cold at the same time.

"I really didn't come in here for this," she said, feeling somewhat embarrassed. He continued to massage her arms and hands with gentle circles. He was luring her into a false sense of security, she feared, and if she didn't get up now, she might not ever be able to leave. She really did not come in here for this, did she?

He started playing with the little embroidered flowers that were at the neckline of her nightgown. He brought his hand to her neck and he could feel her pulse. It was rapid. Her breathing was as well. He could tell that her body felt that same as his, even if her brain did not. His hand reached down to the hem of her gown, and he said, "Why do you have to wear that brace?" It was not the most romantic thing he could have said, but he had been wondering. "Why can't they heal your leg with magic?"

"Magic can only do so much, Malfoy," she said. She seemed embarrassed.

He reached down and fingered the leather straps that held the metal pieces together and he said, "It rather resembles bondage gear to me." He looked back up in to her eyes, and smiled. "May I take if off you?" he asked.

When she said neither yes or no, he bent down and unbuckled the four leather straps that kept the brace on her leg. He gently laid it on the floor. Then he looked at her and said, "If you're into bondage, we could keep it on."

This time she smiled shyly at him.

He reached down and stroked her leg with his fingertips, so lightly, that she thought she might have been imagining his ministrations. He could not see her scar on her leg, for there was little light in the room. However, he could feel a small line that went from her knee to her foot. He sat up and started to stroke her other leg. He moved his body between her legs, picked up her left calf, and placed a small kiss on her knee. He ran his tongue down the scar. She felt a tickle in her lower abdomen when his tongue touched her skin. He again reached for the hem of her gown, and he pushed the offensive garment up to her hips. He pushed her legs apart with his knees, kneeled between her knees, and started kissing her stomach and breasts, on the outside of her gown.

"Granger," he said hoarsely. He said her name with such longing. He leaned over her on his elbows, and with his right hand again tracing the flowers on her gown. He leaned down and his lips began to toy with the edges of her mouth, teasing her. He licked her lips. He forced her mouth open, and tasted her deep. Goodness, she was all the nourishment he ever needed.

She parted from him for a moment, pushing him away, and he lay back on his side. He thought that maybe he was moving too fast. Then she pulled back the covers of his narrow bed, and tucked herself in, under the sheet. He took that as an invitation to continue. He got under the sheet as well. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her on top of his bare chest. She was perfect, he thought. She leaned her head to the left, and he brushed his lips against her neck, and then tenderly caressed her neck with his tongue, so that her body began to burn.

She started to return his advances. She spent her whole life fighting for what was right, and by god, he was right and worth the fight. He felt like she was torturing him. She was kissing him with such a passion that he had never felt from a woman before. He rolled them over, so that she was under him, and he kissed her long and hard. He kissed her neck, and he bent down and kissed her right breast through her nightgown, while his hand cradled the other breast, and lightly stroked her nipple with the pad of his thumb. His hand dipped to the top of her panties, and he played with the elastic, brushing his fingers lightly against the fabric. Without asking her if it was okay, he pushed the covers off them both, and reached down to take off her nightgown. As he was lifting it off her, he admired her perfect body by the light of the moon.

He took a deep breath in. He wanted her so much. She reached her arms up to cover her chest and he pulled them away. He leaned down and kissed the valley between her breasts. Then he gently kissed the right breast, and then the left. He put his large hand on her bare stomach, and sprawled his fingers across it. All of the sudden, he realized something was wrong. He stopped kissing her breast and looked down at her stomach.

She forgot about her scars. For a moment, she forgot about the whole thing, and he saw them. She didn't want him to see them. She started to cry from embarrassment as he propped himself up on his side, with his hand still on her stomach.

"Granger, what's on your stomach?" he asked, as his fingers started tracing the scars on her stomach. She sat up and tried to find her gown to put it back on. He took the gown from her and threw it to the foot of the bed. He was sitting up, too. She tried to cover herself with the sheet, but she couldn't remove it from between their bodies, so she covered herself with her hands and continued to cry.

"Tell me how you got those scars." He seemed scared for her.

"Please, let me go. Oh, coming in here was a mistake. Maybe the biggest mistake I've ever made." She tried to get up as she reached for her nightgown again, but he pushed her back down on the bed. Just then, they heard shouting. It appeared to be Potter and Weasley. They were outside Malfoy's room.

Weasley said, "Let me by, Harry. So help me, if she's in there with him, I'll kill him." Hermione was horrified. She hastily put her gown on, and tried to climb over him to get up, but she could not get over him, because he pulled her back.

"Ron, this is a big house. She's probably in one of the other rooms. Just because she wasn't in her room, or the library, is no reason to suspect anything between her and Malfoy. Believe me; I don't think they even like each other."

At that statement, Draco looked down at Hermione, kissed her hard for a brief moment, and whispered, "Take that Potter! Don't tell me whom I like and don't like."

"If I don't find her, I'm coming back up here," Ron said. They could hear Ron storm off down the hall.

Just when they thought the coast was clear; Harry opened the door to Malfoy's room, and walked over to the bed. How did he know? He reached down for Hermione and pulled her over Malfoy's body. Thank goodness, she had put her nightgown back on. He saw her leg brace on the floor, kicked it under Malfoy's bed, scooped her up in his arms, and carried her to his own room to put her on his bed. He looked angrier than Hermione had ever seen him. He said to her, "I don't even want to know what was going on Hermione. Ron already checked your room, so pretend you were in here the whole time, waiting for me." He started to walk out of his room, just as Ron was approaching and Harry said, "She's in my room. She was waiting for me to come up. Apparently she had a bad dream." Ron tried to get in the door when he saw her on Harry's bed, but Harry pushed him away, and shut his door. "Let her be for now, Ron. Maybe she'll talk to you tomorrow. Go to bed."

After Ron left, Hermione heard Harry walking down the hall. Oh no, he was going back to Malfoy's room.

Harry did not even knock. Malfoy knew he would be back, so he put on some pants. Harry walked right in like he own the place, (Well, he did, but still) and as Draco tired to stand up, Harry pulled back his fist and hit Draco squarely on the jaw. Draco fell back on the bed and put his hand up on his face. Harry got down on his hands and knees, reached for Hermione's leg brace, and after retrieving the brace, pointed his wand at Draco's chest. Draco hadn't even seen him draw his wand, because he was that fast.

"Did you not believe me when I told you if you hurt her I would kill you? Did you think I was making an empty threat? Do you really think that the man, who killed Voldemort, would hesitate to kill you?" He never raised his voice as he said these words to Malfoy.

"First Potter, she came to me tonight. She had a bad dream and needed to talk to someone. She probably would have sought out her usually slumber buddy, but you must have been previously occupied with your little boy toy, Weasley."

"You were lying in bed together, Malfoy!" Harry seethed.

"Yes, and we were just talking. Nothing else," Draco lied. Then, he decided to really put on the show, and make Potter feel bad. "Never mind what you think of me Potter, but do you think so little of her that you think she would just come have sex with me, especially with you and the Weasel just down the hall? She's not some slag, you know. She's supposed to be your best friend."

"If I find out you aren't telling the truth, I swear by all that is holy that I'll personally see that you don't live to see another day," Harry said and jabbed Malfoy's chest with his wand and then finished with, "Leave her alone. Don't play with her head. She's been through enough horrors for one lifetime."

Harry turned to leave and Draco stood. He reached for Harry's shoulder, to turn him around, but Harry was quicker; he turned fast, and jammed Draco into the back of the door, his wand under Draco's chin. "What?" Harry spat.

"I know she's been through hell, Potter. We've become friendly, as you can tell. She told me about Snape, her parents, and everything," he said.

"I rather doubt she told you everything, Malfoy," Harry gleamed.

"You would like to think that she's your own little wounded puppy, Potter, but she confides in me as well."

"Yeah, right," Harry laughed as he let Draco go. Draco walked away from the door, and Harry asked, "Did she tell you what your father did to her before you SAVED HER?" Harry leered at Draco.

"I was there, Potter. I saw the curses he used on her," Draco came back.

"YOU SAW NOTHING!" Harry yelled. "When you got there, they were already outside the safe house. You only saw the tail end of the torture he inflicted on her that night. You didn't see what happened inside the house, did you? She's been broken for so long, Malfoy, and she's finally starting to mend. I won't have you break her again." Harry pushed Draco to the side and started out the door.

Malfoy grabbed Potter's arm and said, "Tell me what you mean. What else happened to her?"

"Gee, if you were as close as you say, you would have thought she would have told you," Harry mocked. "Go to bed, Malfoy, and leave Hermione alone. Ron and I have to leave tomorrow, and Remus will be away because of the full moon. I'll have someone else stay here with you two while we're gone, to make sure you leave her be." He walked out of the room, and Draco watched him disappear down the hall.

In the scuffle, Harry had dropped Hermione's leg brace. When Draco thought it was safe, he took the brace and walked with it to Hermione's room. As he approached, he went by Potter's door, he could hear Hermione in Harry's room, and she was crying. Damn Potter, he was probably interrogating her. Whom did he think he was telling everyone what to do? He was so self-righteous. He leaned his ear to the door, and heard Hermione say, "Nothing happened, Harry. Nothing will ever happen. You know that. After he questioned me about the scars on my stomach, I realized that myself. It all brought back what his father did to me. I don't blame Draco for that, but I can't possibly ever tell him what happened, because it will always be between us." She started crying harder.

Potter was making soothing noises to her, and Draco felt angrier than he had his entire life. He put the brace outside Potter's door and rushed back to his room. Damn Potter, why did he get to comfort her? Had she confided to Potter that they had almost made love? She apparently told Harry that Draco had seen her scars. What in the hell happened to her that night? Was it something that they really could not overcome? They had overcome so much; surely, they could prevail over whatever it was, as well. Hermione said some wounds would not heal. 'To right you are, Granger,' he thought.


	10. Crying Out Loud

10 - **Crying Out Loud**

Harry and Ron had been gone for ten days. Ginny Weasley was staying with Draco and Hermione. The thing was, Draco had yet to see Ginny and Hermione interact. In fact, none of the three current residence of 12 Grimmauld Place had shared so much as one sentence to each other in those ten days. All of that was about to change.

Draco had been holed up in the attic, working on more potion for Remus. He was also working on a sleeping potion for himself, as he had not been sleeping well lately. Hermione had been in the library, and the youngest Weasley had spent most of her time in the kitchen or the sitting room, but today was different. Draco was coming down out of the attic, when he heard the two girls arguing outside of Hermione's room. He stood on the stairs and strained to listen. When he couldn't make out what they were saying, he decided to finish his trek on the stairs, and make his way down the upstairs hall.

"I know you don't think so, Hermione, but that's the way it is!" Ginny said to Hermione.

"That's just not true, and you know it!" Hermione yelled back.

Draco walked up to the two girls, and Ginny whipped around and pointed at him. "Is he really worth it? Do you think he would have done the same for you?" she yelled.

"What the bloody hell is going on here?" Draco scolded.

"None of your business, Ferret!" Ginny yelled.

"Ginny, he's living here at the moment, so please refrain from calling him names," Hermione said steadily.

"Oh, so it's not enough that you gave up your freedom for him and saved him from being killed by Snape, but you have to defend him as well?" Ginny began. "Hermione, you aren't thinking straight. Your mind is all messed up. You have let him cloud your thinking."

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Hermione yelled and stepped in her room and slammed her door shut.

"What the hell are you going on about, girl?" Draco strolled up to Ginny and asked.

"Why couldn't you have just died that night? Why didn't Snape just save us all the trouble and kill you? I don't need this. You two deserve each other. That girl in there is not the Hermione Granger I know. I'm leaving. I hope you kill each other." She ran down the stairs and stormed out the door, not to return.

What was that? Draco knocked on Hermione's door and heard crying. She was crying loud, gut-wrenching sobs. "Let me in, Granger!" Draco demanded. "The Weaslette left. She left the house." He was leaning up against the door, but Hermione would not answer. He tried the knob, but apparently, she had finally figured out how to lock the blasted thing, because he couldn't enter. He sat down in the hall and waited.

Roughly two hours later, Hermione started to limp out of her door. She looked down at Draco on the floor, and said, "Help me get down on the floor with you." He got up on his knees, and reached for her hand. She bent down awkwardly, and then sat next to him, with her back against the wall. He sat back down, opposite of her, with his back against the other wall, so they could face each other.

"What were you and that girl arguing about, Granger?" Draco asked.

"Her name is Ginny, and you know that," Hermione reprimanded.

"I know, but I refuse to say it. Just like I will never call Weasel by his name. It's the principle of the thing," Draco laughed. "Now, tell me what was going on. It sounded like you were arguing about me."

"My, you do have an inflated ego, don't you?" Hermione said tiredly.

"I'm waiting," Draco drawled.

"It's the same old thing that she and I, and Ron and I, argue about all the time, and I'm so, so tired of it." She put her hands up to her face and started to cry again.

He jumped over to the wall she was up against and put his arm around her shoulder. He lifted her up and put her between his legs, and wrapped his arms around her. "If we're really going to take advantage of this fresh start thing, and this whole friendship rubbish, then why don't we start with being honest with each other?" he said softly in her ear. He let both of his hands travel down her arms, and took a hold of both her hands. She relaxed totally into his body, moved her head on his left shoulder, and looked up at him.

"If I tell you the whole truth, it'll change everything. You'll not want to be my friend anymore. The truth changed Ron's relationship and mine. It changed Ginny's and mine. Harry is the only person in my life that the truth of that night didn't change how he felt about me. He's the only one that still loves me." She started crying again.

"I love you," he said.

Without looking back up at him, she said, "No you don't."

"Don't tell me whom I love and whom I don't, Granger. As much as someone like me can love, I love you," he goaded, as he bent his head and kissed her cheek.

"Can we not talk anymore for a moment? Let's just sit here," she pleaded.

He wrapped his arms tightly around her and started to rock her back and forth, and she continued to whimper. After many moments he spoke, "Granger, my back is starting to kill me. Can we get up now?" He moved her away from him before she could answer, and he stood up. He actually picked her up and lifted her to stand beside him.

"Do you think Ginny is coming back?" she asked.

"How the hell would I know? Who cares? I hope not." He took her hand and led them down the stairs.

He led her to the dining room, which normally the Order used for meetings, and Draco said, "Let's have Dobby bring us lunch in here." She sat down and he left for a moment, and then returned. As they sat and waited for lunch, Draco said, "So, I thought the girl Weasel and Potter were an item. Now that the war's over, why aren't they married or something?"

"I'm not sure. I know they still love each other. I think Harry is just still too involved in other things. Ginny said she thinks I take up too much of his time as well. So does Ron. They don't understand."

"I don't understand either," he told her truthfully. "You two have the strangest relationship I've ever seen."

"Some might say the same about yours and my relationship," she came back.

"Too true," he agreed.

Dobby brought their food and they ate in silence. After lunch, she said she was going to go take a long bath and then a nap. He said, "Fine, take your bath and your nap, but please, let's talk about things later." She went upstairs and he went to the attic.

It was late. It was close to 8 pm before she sought him out to talk. He was in the library, working on the manuscript. She raised her eyebrows, as if questioning him, when she entered, and he said, "Well, someone has to work on it."

She sat down on the small couch that was on the opposite wall as the desk and he got up and sat beside her.

"I'm ready to tell you everything," she said bravely.

"I'm ready to listen," he responded.

"That night we went to the safe house, we had gotten an Owl, which we assumed was from you. The note had your wax seal. The note said for me to meet you at the safe house, because you had important information about a plot to kill my parents. So far, most of your information had been sound, so we believed the note. Harry sent Ron and me, along with a few other Order members, to meet you."

"Right before we left, Ron didn't want to go. He said he didn't trust you, and he thought it was a trap, and that Harry and I were fools to trust you. Funny, he was more spot on then we realized. Therefore, he refused to go. I refused to stay. That moment fractured our relationship. He asked his brother Charlie to go instead. When we arrived at the house, you weren't there. We didn't yet know it was a trap." She took a deep breath and was silent for a moment.

"Please, if you don't want to continue, don't," he told her.

"No, I need to say this. I need to say this aloud. I need to say this to you. Shortly after we arrived, we saw the Death Eaters coming out of the woods. There were so many of them. Charlie told me to stay in the house, and he and the other Order members went out to fight."

"Your father appeared out of nowhere. He apparently apparated into the house, even though we had anti-apparation charms up. To this day, I don't know how he got in. He caught me off guard. He had his wand pointed at me and I pointed mine at him. He said that you had tricked us into coming to the house and that he was going to kill me. We dueled for just a moment, but his knowledge of dark magic was so extreme that he was soon able to disarm me."

She stopped talking for a few seconds, and he hoped she would not continue. He really did not want to hear anymore, but she wanted to tell him.

"Your father told me he would teach me why Mudbloods were inferior to purebloods. He told me to be happy, because by my death, I was making the ultimate sacrifice for the pureblood cause. He said that Voldemort would be so pleased, because my death would finally bring Harry to his knees. He said that your place would be restored as well, by my death, and that the Dark Lord would welcome you back with open arms."

Draco moved on the couch for a moment and asked, "May I?" Before she could answer, he lifted her up, and sat her sideways on his legs, so that she was half on the couch and half on his lap. With her legs over his body, she was turned so that she looked at him. Her back was against the arm of the couch and he put both his arms around her body. He didn't know why, but he knew down deep that he needed to feel her, to make contact, before she continued with her story. With both his arms around her waist he said, "Please go on."

She did and said, "He cursed me. I had never felt such pain. It continued forever. I cried out and he mocked me. He then levitated my brutalized body in the air and then dropped me to the floor. My leg practically shattered underneath me. He stopped for a moment, and I tried to crawl away, but he reached down and pulled me back by my hair." Hermione had tears rolling down her cheeks, and she had her face buried in Draco's neck. He had both arms around her body, trying to let her know that everything would be all right.

"He threw me on the couch, and ripped open my shirt. I was afraid he was going to rape me. He could tell what I was thinking, and he told me the same thing you told me, that day you were released from jail; that Mudbloods were only good for one thing, but not to worry, because he would never lower himself to be with someone like me. He took his wand, and spoke a spell I had never heard before, but that I will never forget. He used his wand to burn your initials in my flesh, on my stomach. It was the darkest of magic and the most pain I had felt that day. I thought my flesh was being ripped off in strips. He told me he was branding me so that Voldemort would give his son credit for my death." By that time, the tears were flowing so freely that she could barely speak.

"You don't have to continue," he commanded. He wished she wouldn't, yet he knew she would.

"He levitated my body once more, outside, and he told me he would hand me over to his fellow Death Eaters, and they could abuse me and humiliate me however they wanted before he killed me. I was conscious enough to know that my fellow Order members were dead, and that I was about to die. I really don't know what happened next. I woke up in the hospital. When Harry saw me, he told me that you saved my life. Can you tell me what happened next? I really need to know."

Draco sat still for many long moments. He didn't answer her. He couldn't. "Not tonight, Granger." He lifted her off his lap, sat her back on the couch, and walked out of the room.

He went upstairs and went to the bathroom. The first thing he did was kneel beside the toilet, and he threw up. He sat down between the toilet and the bathtub and started to cry. He cried for her, for his father, for himself. He cried for their lost innocence, and for their lost youth. He cried because of the injustice of it all. He didn't know he could cry so much. After a while, he got in the shower and turned the water on as hot as he could. He wanted it to burn. He wanted to feel just a little bit of the pain that she had felt. He stood under the hot water until his skin turned bright red.

When he went to his room, he didn't know what to do. All he could think was, "How could she forgive me?" Draco felt it really was his fault. If only he had not given them the location of the safe house; if only he had gotten there ten minutes earlier; if only he had taken Dumbledore up on his offer to join the light side; if only he had never been born; those were the terrible truths in Draco Malfoy's life. If only, If only. He sat down on his bed and cried more, in anguish and pain.


	11. It's Such a Shame

11 – **It's Such a Shame:**

The next day Draco woke up with a terrible headache. He had fallen asleep shortly after his tears ended and that was when the nightmares began. He dreamt of Granger being tortured by his father, then by Snape, and then by himself. All night long, he dreamt of her pain. He did not even know if he could get out of bed. Getting out of bed would mean confronting her, that would mean confronting himself, and that was something Draco did not think he would be able to do.

He turned toward the wall and tried to go back to sleep. After a few moments, he heard a knock on his door. Oh no, not Granger, please, no. He could not face her, not yet, and he knew that she still wanted answers. She wanted to know what else happened that night. He didn't want to tell her, not yet, and maybe not ever. He decided to ignore the knocking.

After a few more moments, the knocking became banging, and he heard Potter's voice. "Malfoy, wake up! Unlock this door immediately!" What the hell. When did Potter get back?

Draco crawled out of bed and went to unlock the door. "What do you want, Potter?" he asked, almost out of breath.

"Where is she, Malfoy?" Potter demanded.

"Who?" Draco asked.

"You do you think?" Potter retorted back.

"I don't know where the girl weasel went. She and Hermione got in a fight yesterday and she left. Go ask Hermione, maybe she'll know," Draco said as he tried to shut his door, but Potter held it open.

"I'm talking about Hermione, you prick," Harry said. Then he took a few steps into Draco's room, to make sure she was not in there.

"Isn't she in her room?" Draco asked with real concern.

"Gee, I didn't think of looking there!" Harry said, with sarcasm. "Now where is she? What did you do to her?"

"Listen, Potter, I didn't do anything to her. When I went to bed last night, she was down in the library." So far, that was not a lie, Draco thought, and then he continued, "I really don't know where she would go. Anyway, what are you doing back?" Draco demanded.

"Ginny owled me last night and said that she could no longer stay in the same house with you. I didn't want you and Hermione alone, so I came back," Harry explained.

"The truth is that your two little girlfriends got in a fight last night, so that's probably why Granger left!" Draco lied, trying to take suspicion off himself.

"Well damn it all, Malfoy, she's obligated to stay here for the remainder of her sentence for killing Snape. If she violates her parole, she could be sent to prison," Potter explained.

"You don't think someone took her do you?" Malfoy asked.

"NO! This house is well protected. Her clothes and books are gone as well, so it appears she left on her own," Harry said. He walked out of Draco's room, and Draco followed. Harry added, "I have to alert the other Order members. We have to find her."

"I want to help, Potter," Draco said. He really did want to help. He thought it was his fault that she left. He knew that she wanted to confide in him, and that she wanted him to confide in her, and instead he rejected her, left her to cry on her own, and that's why she left.

"You'll have to stay put," Potter told Malfoy. "I won't have you violating your parole as well."

That day went by in a blur. Order members came and went. Ginny came and told Harry it was her fault, and he was so angry with her that he agreed with her. Remus came back, and he was so worried, that he looked as if he aged ten years in just a matter of minutes.

It was well after 11 pm that night before most of the Order members left. Some were still out looking for her. Draco felt useless. He could do nothing but worry and blame himself. He went up to the attic. He knew if he were going to get any sleep that night, he would need that sleeping potion he had made. As he was walking up the attic stairs, he realized how useless he was. He could not even help find her. He could not leave this god-forsaken house. He wished he could get as far away from everyone as he could. He went over to the potion's table, and in his anger, he picked the table up by its side and everything flew off and broke on the floor beneath.

"That was stupid," said a voice.

Malfoy turned toward the voice and said, "Granger?" What the hell. "What are you doing up here? Do you realize the entire Order is looking for you? You packed up all your belongings. Everyone assumed you left," he said as he walked over toward her.

"I was going to leave. I packed my things in my trunk, and then brought my trunk up here. No easy feat, with the gimpy leg and the no magic thing, I'll tell you," she said, with a fake smile. "I was going to leave all my belongings up here, and then just walk right out the door and never come back. I thought I would just give up magic, and live as a Muggle. I thought I had everything worked out. As I was getting ready to leave, I walked past your door and I heard you crying. I knew I couldn't leave. That would be selfish. I knew you needed me," she reasoned.

"I don't need anyone, Granger!" he yelled. He walked over to her and shook her hard. "I especially don't need you. Weasel is right, Hermione. You over dramatize and romanticize things. Maybe you should just leave," he spat and turned away from her.

"Maybe you should just leave," she spat back. "I know for a fact that they found a placement in a residential home for you last week, and that you told your probation officer that you would rather stay here. Why is that?" she goaded.

"How the hell would you know that?" he asked her.

"We have the same probation officer, stupid. He told me," she flatly stated.

'She called me stupid, twice!' Draco thought, but what he said was, "That man is a dead man. He had no right to talk about me to you."

"Why were you crying last night?" she asked.

"Shut up!" he yelled.

"Is that really your best comeback?" she asked.

"Listen, Granger, do a favour for me, Potter, and everyone, and really just leave. No one wants you here. Just let everyone get on with his or her lives. Maybe Potter and the Weasellet could get married if it weren't for you! Maybe I could try to forget every damn thing about my past, if it weren't for you always bringing everything up!" He didn't know why he was being so mean to her. Maybe if he were mean, then she would hate him again, because her hate was all he deserved.

As if sensing his ploy, she walked toward him, and said, "It's such a shame that you can't be honest with yourself, Malfoy. You can be as mean as you want, but you cannot make me leave. You can't make me angry, and you can't make me hate you."

"Why not, I hate you," he responded back.

"Last night, in the hallway, you told me that you loved me," she said. She started to walk toward him, and he practically ran to the other side of the attic.

"I was wrong. I'm incapable of loving anyone. Listen, Granger, people don't change, not really, and I haven't changed. I'm still a first class bastard, who hates Mudbloods, and who deserves all the bad things that happens to me. You'll never change either. You're still a lowly Mudblood who thinks she knows more than anyone else, but who really knows shite! I don't love you. I wouldn't love you if you were the last Mudblood on the face of this earth. What I said to you that first day in the prison, I say to you today, I hate you. I hate you!" Draco stormed over to her and started shaking her hard, all the while saying repeatedly, "I hate you."

He only stopped when she started to cry out in pain. He let her go so quickly, that she fell to the ground. She looked up at him and said, "When you were holding me in the hallway, you said you wanted us to be honest with each other. I told you that if I were honest with you, it would change how you felt about me. You told me it wouldn't. I was right, you were wrong. Go away, Malfoy. Please, just leave me alone!" she yelled at him. He swiftly ran away from her. He found Potter and told him that she was hiding in the attic. He then went to his room and slammed the door. What was he going to do?

Hermione came downstairs and all was right with their little Gryffindor world. At least, that was how everyone acted. Their precious little Mudblood was safe and back where she belonged. He hated every self-righteous one of them, especially Hermione. How could he ever think that he felt anything else for her? He was such a fool.

Another week went by and Draco and Hermione completely ignored each other. He actually was beginning to feel bad. He was blaming her for his own guilt, and making her suffer, when he was the one that should suffer. As far as he knew, she had never told anyone about that night. He thought he heard Remus tell someone that Hermione was upset about her fight with Ginny, and that was why she almost left. Yes, let the redheaded girl take the blame.

On a Saturday morning, Potter told Draco at breakfast that Remus and he would be leaving again for a few days. He said that he had already told Hermione goodbye, and that they would be leaving right after they ate. Draco had feared that very thing. He didn't want to be alone with Hermione. He was certain that would not happen again, for surely Potter would have someone stay with them.

Potter spoke again, "Hermione told me that you two could manage alone for a few days, and you have been getting along lately, so I'll just leave you two to your own devices, shall I?"

Getting along? If Potter's idea of a good relationship, of 'getting along', meant totally ignoring each other, then sure, they were getting along.

"Whatever, Potter," was all Draco could say. He walked out of the kitchen and stood stock still on the stairs, and said to him self, "I guess it's time to face the truth." Draco walked upstairs to find Hermione.


	12. She said, NO!

12 - **She Said "NO!"**

Draco walked down the hall to her room. She didn't come down for breakfast. She never came down anymore. Just as he started to knock on her door, he saw her approaching from the other end of the hall.

"What do you want?" she asked with a frown.

"I wanted to talk to you," he frowned back.

"NO!" she said, as she tried to elbow past him, to enter her room.

"Did you say no?" he questioned.

"Yes, I said no. Now go away." She reached for her door handle, and he reached for it as well. His hand was on hers. As she tried to push the door open, he was trying, and succeeding, to keep it closed.

"Malfoy, stop making everything so complicated. Leave me alone. I don't want to talk; I don't want anything to do with you ever again. You made your point quite clear. You hate me and want me out of your life. If that's how you really feel, then, NO, you can't talk to me," she said all of this quite calmly, but she actually was starting to shake.

"So it's Granger's turn to throw a tantrum, because she doesn't get her way," he mocked, swallowing hard. "I had to listen to all your rubbish the last few times we talked, but heaven forbid you should have to listen to me."

"How dare you!" she yelled, while actually pushing on his chest. "So my telling you truth about what happened to me was rubbish?" She started to scream.

He thought to himself that he was the world's bigget idiot. That was what he really was. He didn't mean it that way. He didn't mean to belittle the truth. He tried to open his mouth to explain, but she pushed past him and slammed her door shut.

He put both palms on her closed door, and yelled, "That's not what I meant!" He was quiet for a few moments, then he said again, "Come on, Granger, you know that's not what I meant." Then he put his hands up in the air, and said, "Fine, have it your way. You always do." He turned to walk down the hall, and she hurried and opened the door, and reached out for his arm. He looked down at her hand and said, "Remove your hand from my person, Granger."

"Why? Are you afraid of Mudblood germs?" Hermione mocked.

"If you don't want to talk to me, then I don't have to be touched by you, and yes, I'm afraid of Mudblood germs and that's why I almost made love to you that night in my room," he said sarcastically.

"Go away," she said as she walked in her room.

"I was trying to go away, and you tried to grab me back!" he said through the closed door.

A few days later, Draco had another appointment with his probation officer. He was going tell the man that he was ready to move to that residential half-way house; or the only other option would be to put him back in prison, because, he couldn't stand one more minute there. Hermione was right, they had found a placement for Draco a few weeks ago, but he had asked to stay where he was. Well, no matter now. Now he couldn't wait to leave. The probation officer had just arrived, and Draco went to meet him at the door. He told Draco that he had to see Miss Granger for a moment first and then he would meet Draco in the sitting room.

After Draco had his appointment, he sat alone in the sitting room for over an hour and he was beyond feeling relief. His probation officer told him the court commuted his sentence, and that he was free. Free? What did that even mean? He did not even know how to begin to process the information. He was free to return to being the first class pureblooded bigot that he was before. What would ever make him free from all the guilt, anguish and pain he felt. Free? Draco thought, 'I'll never be free.'

He thought of the injustice of it all. After all, it was his fault that Professor Dumbledore was killed. He had personally killed his own father and Snape, but here he was after only five months in prison, and four months probation, and he was free. Look at Granger. She still had four more months of her sentence to fill and she was not guilty of one damn thing. She was going to be in her own personal prison for the rest of her life. She would never be free. Why should he be free?

He had to go talk to her. He would make her listen. He didn't care if she said no. He didn't have his wand back yet, but he would tell her that he did, if it would scare her into listening to him. His biggest fear was that he would always be a constant reminder to Hermione of all the travesties that she had gone through. He finally convinced himself that if Hermione would not let him apologize, and would not hear him out, then the least he could do was to tell her 'Goodbye' and 'Thank-You'. After all, she thanked him that day in the prison for saving her life. He would thank her for saving his soul.

As he marched down the hall toward her room, he finally made a decision. A decision about what he would finally say to her. He opened her door, and to his surprise, he saw Potter sitting on her bed, but nowhere in his sight did he see Hermione.

"What are you doing here, Potter? When did you get back?" Draco asked as he looked around the room, still not convinced she was not hiding somewhere.

"I got back about two hours ago. Hermione sent an Owl saying she needed me to come back immediately, to meet with her and Mr. Kruger. You were in the sitting room when I got back," Harry stated.

"Where is she now?" Draco asked.

"I hear congratulations are in order," Harry said, ignoring Draco's question.

This threw Draco off guard for a moment, and Draco asked, "What?"

"I hear you're a free man now, congratulations. I want to let you know you can stay here while you get all your affairs in order," Harry said as he walked up to Malfoy.

"What is this?" Draco inquired. "You suck at small talk, Potter. Now answer my question, where's Granger?"

"She's gone," said Harry simply, "She just left. Right after your probation officer told you that you were free, he came up here and collected her and they left. I don't know where they went. She didn't tell me."

"Is this a sick joke?" Draco could not understand any of this!

"I wish, Malfoy," Harry stated plainly. "When I arrived she was in here with the probation officer. She was already all packed. She told me that she was no longer under house arrest. She said that she had actually been free to go ever since you first got here. She said Lupin was the only one who knew. She said she didn't tell any of us, because she didn't want anyone to know the real reason that she stayed here was because of you." Harry moved to look out the window, and then continued.

"She told me that she thought she could reach you, maybe make you whole again. She said she needed to heal you to heal herself, but that she failed, and that you hated her, and so there was no reason for her to be here anymore. She said she wanted all of us to move on with our lives. She said she wouldn't be in touch, not for a while, because she needed to be away from everything. That night we thought she was missing, she said she really was going to leave, but that she stayed for you." Harry turned to look at Draco.

Draco was staring at Harry, and he did not know what to say or to think. He could only think one thing… 'she's gone, she' gone, she's gone…"

"Hermione told me she had finally told you everything that your father did to her that night and that it went badly. She said she heard you crying in your room. She said she didn't leave, because she wanted to give you another chance to forgive her, but that you couldn't."

"Forgive her?" Draco said aloud. "Dammit all to hell, what do I have to forgive her for, I'm the one that needs forgiveness!" Draco screamed. He kicked a chair, and hit the wall. He screamed again, and said, "Stupid, bloody, Mudblood bitch!"

Harry had Draco by his throat in two seconds. How dare he call her that? However, by the time Harry was about to pummel Draco for calling her that, he realized why Draco did what he did. Draco fell to the ground and started to shout, "Why does she get to be the noble one, the righteous one? Why does she get to be the one who leaves? She's done nothing that need forgiving. I should be asking for forgiveness! I should be leaving her, for her sake, not the other way around. Here she is meddling in my life again, and not even taking into consideration what I want, what I need. How could she really believe that I hate her? She is just a self-righteous know-it-all! Just like always. Damn, stupid, Mudblood."

Harry left Malfoy on the floor of Hermione's room, and went to his own room, threw himself on his own bed, and cried his own tears, for all of them.


	13. When is Enough, Enough?

13 - **When is Enough, Enough?**

Draco stood outside in the rain, watching the lights come on in an apartment on the third floor of a building in front of him. It was the third night he stood outside this building. He had the location for over a week. It took him several days to muster the courage to go there, and several more just to walk up to the front of the building.

As he stood there in the rain, he thought about everything he wanted to say to her. He hoped he would not screw it all up. It cost him a ton of money and time to find her. Well, okay, maybe just a ton of money. It was some other person's time. He had hired a private investigator to find her. He figured she would be living in Muggle London. He walked up to the door of the apartment building. He had to do what he came to do.

He walked up to the door; he scanned all the names next to the buzzers, and did not see her name. However, he saw the name, "H. Parker". The private investigator told Draco that was her mother's maiden name, and her alias. What a silly girl; changing her last name, but keeping a first name like, 'Hermione'. He had not even told Potter that he had found her. He knew that Potter, Weasley and even Aurors from the Ministry were all looking for her as well, but they were looking for her in the magic world. Somehow, Draco knew that she had not, and maybe would never, return to magic. That was why Draco hired a Muggle investigator.

No one had seen Hermione for ten weeks. As soon as Draco finished his probation, he set about trying to find her. He put all his energy into that, and nothing else. He had to find her, if he was ever going to have that peace that she wanted for him. Having Granger in his life was like a sudden awakening to his soul, and he couldn't give her up now.

She was working in a children's bookstore, and she had legally changed her last name. He was given her address, and some photographs the investigator had taken of her, a few days ago. He thought that the photos were strange because they didn't move. She looked sad in the pictures. Draco pulled one of the pictures out of his coat pocket as he stood in the rain, and brought it up to his lips. He put a kiss on the picture and then laughed at himself when he thought what a fool he was being. He quickly looked around to make sure no one saw what he had just done.

He rang the buzzer to apartment 3D. He heard her answer, "May I help you?" He had longed to hear her voice again, and when he finally did, he thought he might explode. The emotions were overwhelming. He did not even know what to say. She spoke again, "Is anyone down there."

He thought, well it is now or never. "Granger, it's Malfoy. Let me in."

Silence. No answer at all. He rang the buzzer again, and again, and then a fourth time. Finally, she spoke once more, "You have the wrong person, and the wrong apartment, go away."

"Granger," Draco said in the intercom, "don't be a stupid bint. Of course, it is you, and of course, it is your apartment. I paid a lot of money to find you, so I don't think you should insult my intelligence with your little games. Open up."

"Go away, Malfoy," she finally said.

He put his finger on the buzzer, and just left it there. Ten seconds…15…25 seconds… He could keep doing this all night if he had to.

Finally, one of her neighbours was exiting the building, and Draco saw his opportunity. He grabbed the door before it shut, and slipped into the foyer.

He knew she would assume that he had given up and had just gone away. He was outside her apartment and he wondered if he should use magic to enter, or just knock. If she was truly living as a Muggle, then it should be easy to enter. She would not have any charms in place to keep him from unlocking her door. He could even try apparating into her apartment. While he pondered theses things, pacing back and forth in the hallway, she opened her door, and said, "Please, go away, Malfoy, or I'll be forced to call the Muggle police."

As she tried to shut the door on him, he put his foot in the door jam. "How did you know I was out here?" he asked.

She pointed at her door, and said, "Peep-hole, you idiot." She tried to push him out of the way, so she could shut her door, but he was stronger, and he soon got her door open.

He walked in, and said, "Please, can't we just talk for a moment. Not fight; just talk. I went to a lot of trouble to find you; the least you can do is hear me out."

"Fine," she said, "but I'm leaving my apartment door open, and I'll not hesitate to scream bloody murder if you try anything funny." What the hell would he try? She must have sensed he was thinking that, because of the confused look he had on his face, and the fact that he had one eyebrow raised, so she said, "You know, like trying to apparate me out of here or something."

Damn, that would have been easier. Why didn't he think of that? Well, no matter now, he promised her no funny business, and from that point on, he intended always to keep whatever promises he made to her, no matter what.

"I just want to talk, Hermione," he said, as he sat on her couch.

He called her 'Hermione'. Hermione sighed, and moved to sit on the other side of the couch. He looked at her, and he thought she looked more beautiful than he had remembered. Of course, he had never really admitted to himself that she was indeed beautiful before, but deep down inside the deepest recesses of his heart; he knew that he always thought that she was.

Draco took a deep breath, and turned his smoky grey eyes to look at her almond brown ones. Her eyes seemed darker than he remembered. He took one more deep breath and then said, "I have a few things that I've needed to tell you for a very long time. Please, just listen, and if you want me to leave when I am done, and never tell anyone I found you here, then that's what I'll do, all right?"

Hermione's heart was beating so hard, it felt restricted by her ribs. She thought to herself, 'when is enough, enough?' Why do they have to keep going over the same things? Why couldn't he just admit how he felt and acknowledge how she felt. Well, if he wanted to have his say, she would let him. She stood up and shut the door, and then came back, turned toward him and asked, "May I first ask one question?"

"I don't think so," he said. "I'll answer all your questions in a moment; it's just if I don't say all the things that are going around in my head immediately, I think I might literally explode." She smiled. It was good to see her smile again, even if it was at his expensive, and the thought of him exploding that made her smile.

"I'm not going to re-hash all the rubbish from before. It's history. I treated you like shite for most of our lives. I'm sorry. I blamed you for so long for my own shortcomings and my own guilt. Again, I apologize. What I came to tell you tonight is what happened the night I killed my father." He put his head on the back of the sofa and looked up at her ceiling. There was a crack in the plaster and he stared at it intently. She looked up as well, but then looked immediately back at him, when he resumed speaking.

"I told the Death Eater's about the location of the safe house. I had no idea anyone would be there. When I found out that you and other Order members were to be there, I immediately went to Potter to warn him. I really didn't mean for you to get hurt." He turned his face toward hers, but she was now looking at the floor. Just as well, for it was easier to talk to her if she wasn't looking at him.

"When I saw a Death Eater performing the Cruciatis Curse on you, I thought you were already dead. Your body seemed so broken. There was so much blood. I now realize all the blood was from the wounds on your abdomen. I ran to you, I realized you weren't dead, and then I looked up at the face of the Death Eater and saw it was my father. When he told me to kill you, I didn't even think twice, or hesitate once. In that instant, I knew I had to kill him instead. That's what I did. It was quick and easy actually." Draco clenched his fists, stopped talking for a moment and then rubbed his eyes with his hands.

She moved closer to him and put her hand on his thigh. He thought that was an odd and intimate gesture. He blinked hard, looked at her face, and put his hand over hers. He then picked her hand up, and brought it to his lips. He kissed her open palm, and then, while still holding her hand to his heart, he continued, "After I killed him, I took off my cloak, and wrapped it around your body. I ran back over to Potter, with you barely breathing in my arms. He told me to run to the portkey and get you to safety."

"We ended up somewhere in London. I didn't even know where we were. I just knew I had to get you help. I rushed you to St. Mungos and they took you from my arms, told me to wait outside, and they would come and get me when they had any news. I sat down, and the thing was, I could see your blood all over my shirt. It was red. Just like mine." He hung his head, and she moved closer still, so their legs were now touching.

"All my life, I was told how different Mudbloods were from us. Of course, I always knew in reality that all blood was red, but I still thought your blood, your heritage, your abilities, were inferior to mine. When I saw all that blood on my shirt, and my hands, I realized what a fool I had been. I was so wrong. I needed to make it right. I went back to the battlefield, and fought along with the rest of the Order. Then, as you know, the final battle was only a few days later, and I fought with the Order during that battle as well."

"After Voldemort died, I was afraid. I knew two rights, saving you and fighting with the Order during the final battle, didn't make up for all the wrongs I did, so I went on the run. I hid for over two months before Snape found me. I'm afraid that the rest of the story, from that point on, is familiar to you." He finally stopped talking, and he was afraid to look at her.


	14. I Don't Hate You

14 - **I Don't Hate You**

Hermione was speechless. She didn't know what to say or think. She just wanted him finally to know peace, and maybe with his final admission, he could finally have the peace he deserved. She stood up, which shocked Draco. He figured she was standing to open the door for him to leave. Well, he did say he would leave as soon as she heard him out.

He stood as well and said, "I see you're going to the door, so I'll leave now, but I'll answer your question first, if you'd like."

Shaking, and with trembling legs, she didn't know which way to move. She was going to the door, but not for him to leave. She was going to lock it. Now, she didn't know what to do. Draco didn't have time to draw a breath, before she rushed up to him, wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his mouth, gently, and hesitantly. His strong arms swept her into his embrace as his mouth found hers. After the briefest of moments, he said, "You don't hate me?"

She smiled and said, "You'll never believe me now, but thatss the same question I was going to ask you. I was going to ask you if you really hated me. Because you told me you did that night at Headquarters." She rested her head on his chest, and brought her hands in front of her, to place them over his heart.

"Please believe me, Granger, because I now have a new policy of only telling the truth, so please believe me when I say that I don't hate you," Draco said, while running his hand through her hair. She looked up at him, and he said, "This sounds so lame, coming from me, but I actually think I love you."

She rolled her eyes, and said, "Well when you're sure, be certain to tell me, so I'll know, alright." He smiled at that and hugged her tight. "So, listen here, Malfoy. Let's get some things straight. Ground rules, all right?" she said as she walked away from him. He had a frown on his face and she looked at him and said, "One, you may not call me a stupid, bloody, Mudblood, bitch anymore."

He sat back on the couch, and said, "Yes dear," in a mocking tone, which she chose to ignore as she continued her diatribe.

"Second," she said, holding up two fingers, "Neither of us will wallow in self pity, guilt, hate, old prejudices, or past indiscretions. We are starting a life, turning over a new leaf, right here, right now. Third," she began, only to be cut off by him jumping off the couch, and putting his hand on her mouth.

"How many more rules, Granger, because depending how long this takes, I may need a bathroom break," he said in all seriousness. She bit his hand, and he whipped it away from her mouth, and shook it in pain. "Damn, Granger!" he yelled.

"Third," she began again, "I think I probably love you as well."

She went and sat on the couch. He sat to her left, and pushed his shoulder into hers. "So, we're all right then, Granger?" he asked.

"Yeah, I guess so," she answered without eloquence.

Draco looked down at her leg and at the brace. She wore a skirt and the brace was fully visible. He got off the couch, and knelt down to unbuckle the straps, just as he had done that night in his room. He took off her shoe, then the brace, and the stocking that was underneath. He ran his long slender index finger down the scar on her shin. It started at her knee and went all the way down to the top of her foot. The paleness of her skin against the pink thin line of the scar was an odd contrast. He decided that she would be healed, even if he would have to spend all the money his father left him. He kept that thought to himself however, as he took off her other shoe and stocking.

He went to sit beside her, and suddenly he rolled from a sitting position to his back, so that he was lying on her couch, and he drew her down on top of him. He turned sideways, with his other arm under her waist, and he lifted his head to put his lips once more on hers. He then gently bit her ear lobe, and then turned once more to her lips.

His hands traveled up her back under her blouse. She was kissing his chest, and his neck, and he moaned and said her name. Not Granger, not Mudblood, but, "Hermione".

His arms tighten around her, and he knew he could never let her go. He broke from her, and stood up. That action confused her, but she tried to look calmer than she felt. The light in her eyes made his throat tighten with excitement. He pulled her up into his arms, and said, "Where's your bedroom, Granger?"

"Why, are you tired?" she teased.

"Not yet," he answered back. He kissed her again, not as gentle this time, and as her arms went up to his neck, he lifted her from the floor, with his arms around her waist, and started backing toward a door. If it were her kitchen, well then, the table would have to do, if it was her bedroom, well then, more the better.

Thankfully, it was her bedroom. He backed up against the bed, and sat down upon it, with her on his lap. He kissed her in a fierce, famished way, which was almost primeval and sacred. She responded to his kisses eagerly.

He put her off his lap, stood, and started to undress himself; he was too bashful to undress her. That thought seemed foreign to him, but that was how he felt. Therefore, as he stood to undress, he said, "Is this what you want?"

To which she responded, "I want you."

He undressed quickly, and then lay beside her on the bed. He caressed her body on top of her clothes. He said, "You'll have to remove your own clothes. I don't want to force you do to anything."

She sat up on the bed and unbuttoned her blouse. He was still in a lounging position and his hand went up to stroke her back. He could not see her chest or stomach, from his position. His fingers ran lightly over her spine. She removed her bra, and finally, he sat up as well. She had her arms crossed over her breasts and midsection. He laid her back gently and said, "Let's see, Granger."

She smiled and said, "That sounded funny." He smiled and thought to himself how he liked how honest she was. He liked how she just said whatever she thought. He moved first one arm, then the other. She was before him, like a lamb to slaughter, in all her heavenly wonder. Her breasts were not large, but they were as beautiful as the rest of her. He put the same finger that traced the scar on her leg earlier to the scars on her abdomen. There was a large "D" and a large "M" on her stomach. He wanted to look away, not out of disgust, but because of his own embarrassment that she was branded in such a disgraceful way, but he showed no sign of any misgivings. She reached down, as he continued to trace her scars, and removed her remaining clothing. She lay back down and he traced the undersides of both breasts, just as he did her scars. He felt the weight of one breast, and then the other. He put his whole hand on one breast, leaned down, and kissed her lips once more.

He wrapped his arms around her, to show her that he alone, from that point on, would possess her. He kissed every part of her, and she reciprocated. He started paying special attention to her breasts, kissing their tips and sucking gently. When she moaned his name, he said "Hermione, please ONLY say my name, no other names, forever, okay?" That was his awkward way of asking her to be his and his only, for all time, and she smiled as she understood, and nodded in assent.

He kissed the scars on her abdomen. He dipped his tongue into her navel, which made her laugh, and made him smile. His hand traveled the length of her legs and stopped at their apex. He continued to make love to her, as their bodies met in perfect completion. She felt like crying, and so she did. He stopped for a moment, thinking he was causing her more pain, and that was something he vowed he would never do again. When he stopped to ask her if she was okay, all she said was "Draco," and he knew that was his invitation to continue. He entered her as slowly and gently as he could.

While she flinched in the beginning at his initiate touch, she now longed for the taste and feel of him. He focused on her face the entire time he was inside her. He dare not look away. Making love was totally for her. He wanted to see when that moment of extreme pleasure crossed her face, so he could remember it forever, and it would replace the vision of her broken and bleeding on the ground that he saw every night while he slept.

When they both had been sated, he held her to him, wanting to stay inside her forever. That was such a foreign feeling. Usually, when he had sex, he just wanted to get it over with, and leave after. It was so different with her. He wanted to stay with her, and feel her under him, beside him, on him and around him, forever. He was more certain at that moment of one thing, and one thing only. More certain than he had ever been before about anything in his whole pathetic life. He loved her.

As he held her against his chest, and her hand came up to touch his cheek, he told her what that one thing was, "You know earlier tonight, when I said I think I love you?"

She merely nodded her head.

"Well, I don't think I do," he said.

She felt a stabbing pain in her chest. She felt as if she was suffocating. How could he make love to her, and then say he didn't love her. She looked up from his chest. When he saw the look of sheer terror on her face, he realized what I fool he was.

"Oh, Granger, stop being so overly dramatic." He tried to sound calm, like he was joking, while all the while he was trying to undo his damage. "What I was going to say was that I don't think I love you; I know I love you." She was still looking down at this face, and she hit his shoulder with her hand. "Had you worried there for a minute, huh Granger? You thought the mean old, spoiled, pureblooded bastard, 'Malfoy' was back, aye?" He laughed and pushed her off of his chest, took the pillow from behind his head, put it over her face and said, "Stupid, little Mudblood."

She quickly removed the pillow from her face, but before she could yell at him, for breaking rule number one, he kissed her soundly on the lips again, and then said, "I didn't call you a stupid, Mudblood bitch, and I would like to point out. I said stupid, little, Mudblood. There's a difference."

"Well, rule number four is, you're not to call me, 'stupid little Mudblood', either." She tried to pull away from him, feigning anger, but he pulled her back down to him, and they stayed in each others arms until the sun came up.

Draco held her all night, and he knew that from that moment on, his life was suddenly and drastically altered. He knew all the miseries that they had gone through had a purpose, and that purpose was to bring them to that point in time. If they had not suffered the horrible fates that they had suffered, then they may never have found the love that they both had craved and sought all their lives. He felt like he had finally woken up from a long and disturbing sleep. That he finally had a sudden awakening, and he was so thankful.

THE END

(There is a companion piece to this story, telling Hermione's journey after this point, called "A Life Not Loved")


End file.
